GET UP AND WALK

Why I stopped blogging

2010-07-29T19:59:00.000-07:00

Disclaimer: The below statements are not blanket statements directed toward all bloggers. They are what I have experienced periodically throughout my blogging lifetime & describe why I have stopped blogging. If I feel that the following would cease to occur, I will resume blogging again. Until then, here is why I have stopped.

1.) It is addicting. I spent way too much time in blogland. Time that should have been spent down on the floor playing with Annerson, getting ready for bed so I could have some time in the Word & in prayer, or serving my family via laundry, cleaning, cooking, etc. I could easily justify spending over an hour a day looking into the lives of other people, all the while missing out on my own life experiences. Claiming I didn't have time to do this or that. Really? Yet, you were on your computer last night from 9:15-11:00pm Leah? Hm.

2.) I found my relationships off balance. I was spending more time cultivating online relationships through meaningless "comments" instead of picking up the phone and actually calling a friend to catch up...I know, it's a strange concept these days. I thought I was super connected to so many people all at once, when really I wasn't connected to anyone at all. I used it as a substitute.

3.) I craved comments. I placed self-worth in whether or not people commented on my posts. I threw mini self pity parties when the comments didn't roll in after what I thought was a comment worthy post. My worth does not come from whether or not I impress so and so enough to spur them on to leave a comment. My self worth is in Christ. I'd check my email the morning after I posted just to see if anyone commented.

4.) I found myself "staging" if you will, for the sake of a good post. I don't know exactly how to explain this other than I always had "Would this be good post material" in the back of my mind.

5.) I stressed out if I hadn't posted in a while. This was a death trap for me. I'd seriously get more stressed about not posting in a couple of days than I would about not getting filled up on the Spirit by spending time with the Lord. This was a huge red flag to me that blogland wasn't for me.

6.) It fed my ego. Whether it was a post about me or someone else, I wanted people to want to read "MY BLOG" for a reason. That reason being...me.

It didn't start out this way. Only in the past year or so did I start experiencing these things. These things just slowly crept in. I couldn't put my finger on it for a long time. It was only when I stopped blogging during my pregnancy with Lincoln that I stepped out of the burning building long enough to actually see the fire. It wasn't even to the point that I was "obsessed" with blogging by any means, but I know that I don't have to be that far gone to be in Satan's foothold. Maybe you know exactly what I'm talking about or maybe you haven't a clue how or why I feel like this. Either way, we all areas where we are weak. This is one of my mine. Now that I know that, I have to flee. The devil prowls like a roaring lion. So I run the other way.

What it boils down to is that I had made an idol out of my blog. I'm reminded of the Ross King song titled, "Clear the Stage"

"Anything I put before my God IS AN IDOL.

Anything I want with all my heart IS AN IDOL.

Anything I can't stop thinking of IS AN IDOL.

Anything that I give all my love IS AN IDOL.

We must not worship something that's not even worth it.

Clear the stage.

Make some space.

For the One who deserves it."

"Everything is permissible for me, but not everything is beneficial. Everything is permissible for me-but I will not be mastered by anything. "

1 corinthians 6:12

Here's to clearing the stage & making some space...

Because Every Mother Matters

2010-04-23T08:59:00.000-07:00

Lex & I have a newborn, 1 week old, named Lincoln. He is amazing. God's miracles are amazing. My sister Steffany has founded an organization called Because Every Mother Matters to help moms in Africa.

Sure, I'll post about Lincoln's birth & all that. But these mothers matter, too. They have stories too. They have newborns that are just as precious as Lincoln. Here's how you can help.

Read Steffany's post below

We have no trinkets to sell. We have nothing that you can purchase to give to your mothers or women of importance in your life on Mother's Day. All we have is a vision. A vision of a holistic maternity and infant development center to be built half way around the world...in a village probably not big enough to be on a map. Because- it is not okay that 1 in 11 women in E.Africa dies due to pregnancy related causes. What do we need? Simply-We need money. What can we offer this Mother's Day? Hope. And the assurance that 100% of your donations go towards building the clinic. There are 3 fridays left until Mother's day. We are asking 3 things. 1. Every friday donate $10 that is a total of $30. 2. On fri. make this your status and provide a link or address to donate. 3.Please let your mom, your friend, your wife, your daughter know that THEY MATTER!

You can donate by clicking on the cool image below. Please memo BEMM.

Today is the Day!!!

Friday!

Time to spread the word.

Let the women in your life know how much you love them.

WHY?

BECAUSE EVERY MOTHER MATTERS!

$10 Friday.

Spread it.

Share it.

and

Give it!

"ONE PERSON CAN MAKE A DIFFERENCE AND EVERY PERSON SHOULD TRY"

John F. Kennedy

HE'S HERE!

2010-04-15T18:44:00.001-07:00

Hey all!

Lincoln Walker Dooley arrived today at 11:47am. He weighed 8 pounds 6 ounces. He measured 21 (or 21.5?) inches long.

He and Leah are doing great. Leah said the delivery went well. I visited her earlier and she was getting tired but feeling good. Annerson got to meet Lincoln and gave him tons of sweet kisses.

Congratulations to the Dooley family. Thanks for letting me share your precious baby with the world wide web.

Beth

Tomorrow

2010-04-14T20:05:00.000-07:00

Inducing in 8 hours.

Really sad that he hasn't come by now.

A little nervous.

Praying for peace.

Next post: Welcome baby LWD!!!!

Here's why I know

2010-04-09T13:31:00.001-07:00

...that Lincoln Walker Dooley will be arriving soon

He's due in exactly 1 week!

Sweet friends are asking me how I'm feeling & if there is anything they can do. We actually have a friend who said she is willing to come sleep at our house w/ Annerson if I go into labor in the middle of the night! Isn't that awesome?

I'm having a very hard time making any kind of decision.

I finished my weekly homework for the Breaking Free Bible study I'm doing 4 days early just in case he comes this weekend.

I shave my legs every time I shower.

It is very uncomfortable to sleep.

I'm swelling a little in my calves & ankles.

I keep the laundry hampers empty so there will be no dirty clothes when we get home from the hospital.

Every time I buy deli meat I think,

"Hmm. Will we be able to eat this in time?" (don't panic, my OB says deli meat is not bad for pregs)

When I kiss Annerson goodnight I wonder if this will be the last night she's an only child.

Lex & I are communicating well, spending great time together & are overall stronger & healthier than we've been in a very long time.

I don't look forward to running errands or getting out as much.

I'm filled with peace.

I'm filled with joy.

I'm filled with anticipation of how this is all going to play out.

I fill God's presence all throughout the day.

How I know Annerson is ready to meet baby Lincoln

1. ) This morning while she was drinking some milk she stopped, looked at me, and said, "Lincoln?". It was totally random & adorable.

2. ) I asked her before putting her in her bed last night if she was ready for Lincoln to come live with us and she replied, "Ready!"

My King

2010-04-07T19:13:00.000-07:00

Lincoln's Safari

2010-04-06T19:25:00.000-07:00

We put the final touch on the nursery today. My friend Laura Moon created this amazing canvas! Isn't it stinkin awesome?!!! Now that it is up the nursery is officially done. With 10 days to spare...

I kinda freak out every time I look at his clothes because there is no pink.

It's gonna take a while.

a celebration for a baby boy

2010-03-29T07:14:00.000-07:00

Here are some pics from the baby shower I got to have for Lincoln.

There's nothing quite like celebrating something big in your life with people who are genuinely excited right along with you. It was so awesome.

Cutie welcome sign!

A-M-A-Z-ING

banner that is up in Lincoln's room now

yummy food

one of my favorite gifts!

wonderful hostesses...thank you all for your love & time

sister & step-mom who drove from Austin for the shower

I just have to mention that it was incredibly special for me to have them at the shower. Not once have I had a family member attend any shower I've had thrown for me since I got engaged. This meant a lot to me.

me & Christie

Melissa & Angie

cutest daughter in the world & her mommy

Manon & Amber

Lindsey...

I couldn't believe it when she told me she was going to leave Ft. Worth at 4am in the morning to get to the shower on time and then leave Lubbock 12 hours later to return home. What a blessing to my heart.

Lincoln's goodies from the shower

Thank you everyone who came! It means so much.

obedience

2010-03-17T12:03:00.000-07:00

My nephew Jace was baptized this past Sunday. A complete overflow of joy doesn't quite describe how my heart feels right now. As I gaze upon this picture I see a young man coming out of the cleansing blood of Christ. I see a young man who has walked with the Lord since he was a small boy. More than walked really...he's practically been on a full out sprint since about the age of 10. He's read through the Bible twice, witnesses to everyone (including family members), and is more aware of the Spirit within him than most adult Christians I know (including myself). Now here he is as a 14 year old making a public profession of the faith he has sought long and hard to test & prove.

Truth. That's what this picture says to me. Truth.

Jesus replied, "Let it be so now; it is proper for us to do this to fulfill all righteousness. Then John consented.

Mt. 3:15

Jace, I'm so proud of your decision to get baptized. You are following Christ's example in so many ways & this is one more step in that obedience. I know the past few months have been extremely hard for you. Keep calling upon our Lord to go to battle for you.

I love you sweet nephew.

Belly pics

2010-03-08T17:07:00.000-08:00

I have to brag a little bit about Lezlie, our photographer. I first ran across Lezlie's work on a friend's blog & contacted her to see if she'd shoot Annerson's maternity pics for us. We drove to Amarillo for the first time to shoot with her back in July of 2008 and immediately fell in love with her heart & personality. She is a strong believer who seeks to glorify God as a mom, wife & photographer.

Since then we have used her to do all our pictures. There are many amazing local photographers which would be more convenient to use, but we are always more than pleased with the pics Lezlie captures of us. It is well worth the 2 hour distance hurdle for us to continue to use her. We recently asked Lezlie if she'd be willing to start coming to Lubbock to shoot our sessions so we can get familiar places in our home and around town. Of course she eagerly agreed. Lezlie is a blast to work with. Lex & I "offer" a lot of suggestions as to what kind of shots we want and Lezlie always takes our ideas and runs with them. The pics she delivers exceed our expectations.

As always, thanks Lezlie for your heart for photography. You allow us to hold onto beautiful moments in our life through the images you capture.

Here are the maternity pics we did 3 weeks ago.

By the way...baby's name is Lincoln Walker.

I think I failed to put that on the blog.

A few from Annerson's maternity pics.

Notice the stark difference in the tone of the pics.

Each session is so unique with her. Never the same.

http://www.lezlieandrew.com/

So are you ever going to blog again?

2010-02-25T14:19:00.000-08:00

Hello to all the fans out there of this pitiful blog!!!

It's me. I'm posting after almost 3 months of nothing. I keep hearing these encouraging voices in my head...the echo of 1 dear sister & 1 sweet friend asking me over and over again, "Are you ever going to blog again?". I seriously heard these exact words from both of them within 24 hours of each other. So what that it was like a month ago. That's why I said it was an echo.

So here I am.

I'm going to make this short & sweet. Because I feel the need to update from where I left off but have no desire to do such a tedious chore, I am going to instead share a few pics with you of our life since I disappeared.

I'm subtitling this post

"BEFOREs AND AFTERs"

Enjoy.

Christmas morn before we opened gifts

and after

(if you look very very very closely you can see the catastrophic pile of confetti that attacked me as I opened Annerson's present from Uncle Adam and Aunt She Thinks She's Funny. I still find this confetti in random places.

And she thinks she got away with it.)

Before I had ever cooked a Christmas dinner

After

Wa-la!

Before our adorable daughter learned that knocking down block towers

is a good way to get a rise out of daddy

After she knocked them down & couldn't stop laughing at herself

Before when we had a storage room with a concrete floor,

lots of windows & a lot of dust

After my stud husband and Joel

starting tackling "Project Nursery"

After they became master construction workers

Before we had a door in our room connecting to the nursery

After Lex did some manly sawing

After the guys "threw the door up in a couple of hours".

No biggie.

Before the texturing, paint & carpet action

After...this was a beautiful sight

The following are some shots of what I did to keep myself busy since I couldn't work on the nursery while it was under construction.

Our bathroom cabinet before I realized what a disaster it was

After I gave it a little makeover

Kitchen cabinet before

After it became my favorite cabinet in the kitchen

before when this was quite possibly the most ridiculous

storage area in the house or in the universe

after

As Cher from Clueless would say, "Not a total Betty but a vast improvement!"

Before Annerson's 1st haircut! (sniff sniff)

After

Can we say cutie?

Before I was really pregnant

After

32 weeks pregnant, but who's counting?

So there you have it. A glimpse into the lives of the Dooley family. We've been busy doing life, getting ready to be parents of 2 children instead of just 1, and oh...growing a baby. I'm now 34 weeks & I feel like things are starting to settle down a bit. I can't wait to read all your blogs and get caught up with your lives. I'm sure you've noticed due to my lack of comments that I not only neglected my blog but yours as well.

upcoming posts: Lincoln's nursery, maternity pics & baby shower

Laminin WHAT?

2009-12-18T19:15:00.000-08:00

Matt Chandler's surgery

2009-12-04T09:02:00.000-08:00

Matt Chandler's brain surgery began 15 minutes ago. He is having a brain tumor removed from his frontal lobe that was discovered late last week. Please lift him up in prayer right now.

Matt is the pastor of The Village Church in Dallas. Lex & I have enjoyed deeply his teaching for the last 5+ years via his podcast. We have many close friends who belong to the family at The Village Church. We are stirred to get on our knees for this congregation, his friends & family, and for our dear brother in Christ.

To our friends who personally know the Chandlers-we are praying that your hearts & minds would be turned to Christ & the truth of His sufficient grace would penetrate the marrow of your bones. I pray that you would be faithful in your words to one another & prayers for Matt and the family during this time....may they all reflect the beauty of the cross.

To Lauren-As a wife and mother myself I am encouraged by the peace & joy you have demonstrated as you watch your husband go through this. I am praying against fear in your family. Praying for the Spirit to draw you so near to one another that Satan's forces cannot begin to penetrate the walls of truth & light surrounding your home.

To Matt-As always, you encourage us by pointing us to what this life is about. Your words this morning are more than comforting to those in the Body who are battling alongside with you at this very moment. Praying for precise surgeons & brilliant doctors. Mostly, we pray that you & all those involved would witness the glory of God in these tender moments of surgery & recovery.

Here is a link to a blog post he posted this morning before his surgery.

http://hv.thevillagechurch.net/blog/hvpastor/?p=357&cpage=3#comment-9646

Ah...snow

2009-12-01T05:41:00.000-08:00

It's snowing in Lubbock, Texas. Big fluffy huge white flakes.

I love it.

My heart smiles when I look at it.

There's more than 1 way to celebrate a New Moon!!!!

2009-11-22T20:07:00.000-08:00

We arrived 45 minutes before the theater opened to find an empty parking lot.

No one else in Irving, Texas was as eager as Lex & I (by Lex & I,I mean me!) were Friday morning. I guess all the real fans saw it at midnight. We didn't want to hang out in the car for 45 mins. so we ran to Barnes & Nobles to kill some time.

I bought tickets almost exactly 1 month before opening day

2 hours later...we left the theater again...still had plenty of time to kill

& no line to wait in.

I invited Lindsey to come see the movie with us.

I'm still trying to make up time with Linds. after 2 years of not seeing her!

I brought my Official Illustrated Movie Companion to read

while we waited.....and waited....and waited :)

And yes, I'm wearing a New Moon t-shirt.

Gotta go all out for these things.

New baby Moon

After we watched the movie & loved it we went to the hospital. There we got to celebrate the real New Moon, Mr. Liam Moon. A sweet baby boy born on Thursday at 2:08. This 6lb.14 oz. bundle of joy couldn't have come at a more perfect time.

He was born on our anniversary & Laura called me as we were driving to Dallas to say he'd arrived. So that meant we'd get to see them in the hospital!

Congrats Laura & Allen!

Liam, I'm so glad that we got to meet you!!!! You are adorable!

Yay for a weekend full of New Moons. The end.

I heart my husband

2009-11-22T13:08:00.000-08:00

Lex & I just got back from a weekend anniversary celebration. We celebrated 4 years last Thursday!!!!! We went to Dallas & stayed at the Omni Mandalay hotel in Las Colinas. And by we I mean no Annerson. She stayed in Lubbock with Meems & Potsy (Lex's parents). She did great. We did great. It was definitely hard being away from her. We missed her every day but enjoyed the break and chance to focus on each other. It had been almost 15 months since it had been just the 2 of us so we were way overdue for a weekend alone. We got back late last night & went straight to Annerson's bedroom to gaze upon her cute little sleeping body. I feel like she's grown just in the 3 days we were gone. Crazy!

I'll get some pics from our weekend up later. I still have to unpack, do laundry, and all that fun post trip stuff.

Hope your weekend was fun! Bye for now!

I thought she couldn't get any better

2009-11-13T19:13:00.000-08:00

Oh my goodness! We just got pictures back that we had made in October. To say that I am happy with the way these pics turned out is a HUGE understatement. They were supposed to be Annerson's 1 year pics but we kinda turned them into one big family shoot instead. All 3 of us were trying to get over a cold & felt pretty yucky that day so I was very unsure how these pics would turn out. Knowing Lezlie, I'm not sure why I was at all worried :)

Lezlie you did an amazing job. We had a blast with you as usual. I couldn't be happier with the pictures.

I can only post this one on my blog, but click here to see some more of them

Other sessions we've done with Lezlie:

maternity

newborn

7 month pics

Lezlie will be coming to Lubbock to shoot maternity pictures for us sometime at the beginning of the 2010. If you are interested in hiring her let me know and we can set up a time where she can do your session when she's in town for ours. She's amazing as you can see. Check out her website for more information.

Getting Bigger

2009-11-09T12:42:00.000-08:00

Everyone in this house (except Lex) is getting bigger. I'm 17.5 weeks along in pregnancy #2 and finally feeling able to really enjoy the excitement of it all. Baby is getting bigger therefore I am getting bigger. Annerson is definitely getting bigger. She has turned into a cutie pie toddler. She is talking up a storm and exploring her boundaries left and right. Even our cat is bigger because of all his crazy fur he's storing up for the winter!

BY THE WAY

I have a few prayer requests I need to post about.

Please keep praying for John Means. He's a former 9:30 student who is fighting very serious lymphoma.

Keep my sister-in-law Steffany in your prayers. She is still struggling to get healthy from pericarditis. You can read the latest update & leave her words of encouragement on her blog .

Lastly, Joel's best friend Paul Gartland died unexpectedly yesterday. He most likely had a heart attack in his sleep. Please pray for God's hand to move among those involved. Please pray for Joel, my pseudo dad, who just lost his best friend in the world & that the Lord will draw him near to the grace & peace of the cross through this. Lex & I will be traveling to Austin this weekend once funeral details are in order. Sorry, no link for Joel BUT you can leave words of encouragement or prayers on my blog & I'll be sure to pass them onto Joel.

John Means

2009-11-07T11:06:00.001-08:00

A guy that Lex and I went to college with has anaplastic large cell lymphoma. John is one of those people that can make your stomach ache from laughing within 5 minutes of being around him. He's awesome.

As I read through the journal entries on his website today I am reminded of a few things:

God's will through any circumstance is to bring us closer to Him
He is more concerned with timing than with time
There is joy in pain & suffering when your hope is in the risen Christ

Here is his website. You can send him some encouragement by signing the guestbook.

http://www.caringbridge.org/visit/johnzmeans

moon

2009-11-05T19:42:00.001-08:00

oh my.

Only 14 days until New Moon comes out.

Good thing I bought our tickets 2 weeks ago.

Now I just need my official fan wear for the show.

aaaahhhhh follow up

2009-11-04T07:37:00.000-08:00

Ok, this post is not so all caps. I apologize for that display of emotion. Wait, no I don't. I didn't do or say anything wrong through that emotion. Did I? My Steffany always laughs at me for keeping my cool all the time so that one was for her. :)

I will report that Annerson fell asleep shortly after I posted in the wee hours of the morning & the Raisin Bran had a most purposeful affect on me as well. Never underestimate the power of 2 scoops!!

One more thing...when I said that enemas are a lot of work I want to clarify that I was talking about what your body goes through after you have one. It's one of those things that makes you feel better only after several minutes of feeling a lot worse. So sorry if that offended anyone or you thought I was talking about something else. That's what I meant by that.

Ok, off to the day!

AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2009-11-04T02:19:00.000-08:00

THIS POST IS ALL CAPS.

IT'S 4:20 AM

ANNERSON HAS BEEN THROWING A "COME ROCK ME BACK TO SLEEP" FIT FOR OVER AN HOUR. SCREAMING HER HEAD OFF. I CAN'T BELIEVE SHE HAS ENOUGH ENERGY AFTER AN HOUR OF CRYING TO KEEP GOING. WE'VE GONE IN THERE 3 TIMES NOW. PATTED HER BACK, PICKED HER UP, GOTTEN HER SO CLOSE TO SLEEP & THEN AS SOON AS WE WALK OUT...WAAAHH.

IT'S SO RIDICULOUS. LEX & I HAVE BOTH GOTTEN REALLY BAD AT PUTTING HER TO SLEEP INSTEAD OF LETTING HER PUT HERSELF TO SLEEP & IT'S BITING US IN THE BUTT AT THIS VERY MOMENT. 4:23 AM IN THE MORNING.

ON TOP OF ALL THAT I AM EATING A BOWL OF RAISIN BRAN W/ BANANAS B/C I AM SO STINKIN CONSTIPATED THAT I COULDN'T GO TO BED EVEN IF SHE WASN'T SCREAMING HER HEAD OFF. I NEVER EAT DURING THE NIGHT BUT I CAN'T HANDLE ANOTHER ENEMA RIGHT NOW. IF YOU'VE EVER HAD ONE YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN. THEY REQUIRE WORK TO SAY THE LEAST. SO MAYBE THIS WILL HELP.

I THINK SHE'S SLOWING DOWN. WOW. THE MOST SHE'S EVER CRIED IS LIKE MAYBE 15 MINUTES.

WHAT A MESS. I'M SO TIRED.

2 Years...4 Years...Too Long

2009-10-26T08:42:00.000-07:00

A few weekends ago Lex & I drove to Dallas. The purpose was reunion with one of my best friends Lindsey McDaniel.

Lindsey has spent the last 2 years in Prague. She went as a journeyman with the International Mission Board. If you know Lindsey you know she has a heart of gold. A true disciple of Christ who longs to see His hand over every facet of her life. There is nothing she does that isn't covered in God's blessings & guidance. We got to see her for 24 hours last Christmas when she flew into Lubbock to meet Annerson. Besides that we have only written, emailed & occasionally SKYPED for a LONG 2 YEARS. It is so nice to have her back in the states where we can be in consistent contact with her.

Her plans now are to gain a master's degree in missions from Southwestern Seminary in Ft. Worth. She will then return overseas (to a warmer location than Prague!) to continue living out the great commission (Mt. 28:18-20).

Who's the boy you ask? His name is Adam.

He's Lindsey's neighbor and maybe more.

Lindsey, I'm just saying.

Her cutie seminary housing.

Her apartment is adorable.

Lex & Linds...oh the days when they were Challenge partners

and I stalked Lex through Lindsey!

Ha!

I'm serious.

LuLu & Anners

I'm so glad that Annerson can get to know

Lindsey now!

4 LONG YEARS...

4.5 years ago I graduated from Tech. I was living with Lindsey & a girl named Chavon Perry. Things in the apartment had gone sour to say the least. Looking back I'm still not sure what happened between us. Mostly it was Chavon & myself letting Satan make the worst of a sticky boy situation that Lex & I were kinda in the middle of. Lindsey didn't have a part in it really but she was indirectly affected by it all since she lived there. It was so dumb looking back. We were all immature about it because we let pride & hurt feelings get in between friendship. All to say, we both moved out without so much as exchanging a single word of goodbye & left the apartment and our friendship in the rearview.

We hadn't had contact with her since then until this past summer when she Facebooked us. I guess FB is good for something after all. I am absolutely sure that the Lord ordained this reunion at the most perfect time. I had just given birth to Annerson. My heart was softer than I'd ever known it to be. You know that feeling new moms? When Lex told me that she had sent us a message I leaped for joy & cried because I knew God was behind whatever it was she had to say.

Since then we have talked, apologized, laughed & healed.

Oh for healing.

We thought we had killed our friendship but there is a time to heal as Ecclesiastes says. This has been the sweetest healing because it has been absolutely the Lord in every way.

"Heal me, O Lord, and I will be healed;

save me and I will be saved, for you are the one I praise."

Jeremiah 17:14

God wants to bring healing to areas of our life where we have sinned. This was definitely an area of known sin that I had been carrying around for years. I deeply regretted the way things turned out but didn't know what I could do about it.

I let myself sit in defeat.

Praise God that He desires victory and wouldn't let us settle for defeat.

When we visited Lindsey Lu we were able to arrange a dinner date between the 3 old roomies. This was the first time any of us had seen each other in over 4 years so it was a time of sweet reunion and healing. We all got to meet Chavon's husband Casey...AMAZING MAN. They've been married almost a year and a half now. Chavon got to meet our little Annerson, which was very special for me.

The night couldn't have been more meaningful for me & Lex.

Joy

Healing

we love him already

We had an amazing weekend as you can see. I did get to spend time with another dear friend of mine Laura. We actually stayed at her & her husband's home in Dallas. I don't know why I don't have pictures of them. I really wish I'd taken some. They are expecting their first baby in November.

Here is a pic of Laura's belly! She's absolutely tiny & precious!

Baby Boy Moon (their last name...NOT the baby's first name!)

And one more pic from the weekend.

Annerson's first official RED RAIDER GUNS UP!

(of course she accidentally purposefully did that)

Peace like a river

2009-10-14T20:10:00.000-07:00

On Tuesday morning I hit a parked car. Sure did.

By Tuesday afternoon Satan was laying it on thick.

By Tuesday night I had overcome his guilt & self pity tactics with the peace of God.

There was a spiritual battle going on above me over this one. First off, I felt horrible for causing this sweet innocent lady the headache of having to get her car fixed. For all I know she could have been parked at Target because she was having an awful period and went in to buy Midol & tampons and then out she comes to drive away with her goods only to discover that some not so careful driver hit her bumper when pulling into the spot behind her. I mean, who does that really? So that was the biggest guilt of all. She didn't ask for me to damage her car & now she has to spend time & resources getting it back to how it was before it met me.

Of course there's the fear of insurance going up and the how much is this going to cost us scenarios that started to play out in my mind.

But I didn't let it. God really showed me something. He showed me that I could have peace as I dealt with the consequences of what happened. First off, not once did I cry. Accomplishment these days.

I immediately began fighting the urges to get all frantic and worked up with rational thinking & truth.

Accidents happen.

There are bigger tragedies occurring right now than a scratched bumper.

This is why people have insurance.

Be a witness for Christ to this woman by showing her OF COURSE I'LL LEAVE A NOTE W/ MY NAME & PHONE NUMBER on a Subway napkin because as easy as it would be to drive away without her ever knowing, 1.) God knows 2.) If he can't trust me with the small things then He'll never trust me to handle the big eternity changing things & 3.) I have to take responsibility for my actions...she didn't ask for a scratched bumper, I just offered it (this lady actually THANKED ME for leaving my contact information & wasn't mad at all because of how grateful she was I didn't just hit & run like the last car that hit her. That's so sad that integrity is so far & few between)

So praise God for small victories that have huge impacts. God's power is real and it's meant to be used in huge life crisis moments as well as small yucky day to day moments like this one. He desires to bring truth to the innermost parts of our lives and not just the overarching umbrella situations.

Our insurance agent, the Kory Johnson, called me today and told me it would be around $300 out of pocket to fix her bumper. I didn't even cringe. I actually said with enthusiasm, "I'LL TAKE IT!", knowing that this lady was doing me a favor by not filing a claim with my insurance. God is good isn't He? I'm not saying that I don't care if I get in car accidents because money will fix it. That's not it at all. I'm saying that with the proper perspective a little accident can stay just that...little.

Of course now I'm scared to death of parking lots & definitely did park on the last row by curb & tree only yesterday at the grocery store. :)

One more thing: I learned at Bible study on Tuesday that God didn't say He'd give peace like a pond but peace like a river. Think about the difference in a pond and a river. One is calm and serene. The other is constantly moving, changing, flowing, anything but controlled or protected like a pond is. He offers His peace in river, the middle of the storm, the craziness of life.

In the furnace

2009-10-13T11:24:00.000-07:00

Christ is teaching me.

I've always been hungry for knowledge, specifically truth from the Word. I am constantly enjoying the Bible, books about Jesus, sermons or anything that pours out wisdom & understanding into my heart & mind.

But God has been pressing me in a different way the past several months. It started this summer when I realized how lazy I had become in my pursuit of Christ. See I can't claim to be a Christian unless I know Christ. That's like me saying that I am part of the Obama family because I know who they are and support the President's efforts (I didn't vote for Obama in case you are wondering). Just because you know Jesus via growing up in the church or whatever, doesn't mean He knows you. That's a side note.

But I do want to clarify what I'm saying before I explain what God has been doing in my life. I hear a whole lot of talk about people being Christians but not a lot of people stick their neck out there these days and say, "I'm a disciple of Christ."

Look at Acts 11:26-"The disciples were called Christians first at Antioch." So which came first, the Christian or the disciple? It is evident to me that we have it backwards because we want to fall into the "Christian" category without having to wear the mark or discipline of an actual disciple of Christ. It's like the term disciple bears more responsibility than the sweet term Christian. I remember thinking that disciples were for the ultra God lovers, like a varsity team. Uh huh. Nope. The two are not separate groups. I am a Christian BECAUSE I am a disciple and if I am not a disciple than I am not a Christian.

The word disciple carries a lot of weight. This is what Jesus has been pressing on me so much lately. Like I said, it hit me this summer that I was neglecting several areas of spiritual growth. I wasn't memorizing scripture. I wasn't praying like I believed in prayer. I was reading my daily Bible but not studying it. And on and on I could go. So I sucked it up and asked a dear friend of mine (her blog) to be my accountability to a specific list of things that I wanted to start doing, or in a few cases stop doing. She became iron to me and her knowledge of my struggles began to sharpen me into a more disciplined disciple.

Here are a few of the questions she asks me every week:

Are you spending time in the Word at least 5 days a week?

Are you praying?

What scripture did you memorize this week?

Have you disrespected Lex in any way? Have you asked him for forgiveness?

She asks me about finances, my intimacy with Lex, my intimacy with God. The really really hard stuff that I'd rather just keep private, ya know? But guess what happens when that goes private...I DON'T GROW & I'M NOT SHARPENED. When I know that Beth is going to ask me about certain things I am immediately more aware of them. There's a reason that we're called to live in deep community with other believers. (Gal. 6:1, Heb. 10:24-25) There's a reason we are told to confess our sins to one another. (James 5:16)

I am so glad that I have finally tasted the benefit of having an accountability partner. I just can't do it on my own & Christ new that. That's why the body of believers is designed to be one. God never intended for us to live out our faith alone. (John 17:20-21)

Disclaimer: I'm a sinner.

Therefore: this method hasn't made me perfect in any of the areas I'm seeking to grow in, but I am growing. I'm not stale or stagnant in my walk. That's what the Christian faith is all about. The world looks at us and sees a lack of perfection & therefore a bunch of hypocrites. The believer looks in the mirror and sees a filthy rag who desperately needs a Savior day after day. I don't have to struggle to earn God's favor or salvation, but instead make the choice to freely receive the grace Jesus offers as atonement for my sinfulness. The only reason grace is a free gift is because there is nothing we can do to earn it, no amount of holiness or "goodness" that we can present to God to buy it, and definitely not enough church attendance that we can trade in for it. Once grace is received, there's a huge cost to being a disciple of Christ. Anyone who argues otherwise is a fraud. You want proof? Read the Bible. Start in Genesis.

Ultimately, I'm falling more in love with Christ. I'm letting Him mold me into a disciple. Will the process ever be complete? Not until Heaven it won't. Until then, I am enjoying the aches and pains of it all. The continual struggle of flesh and spirit is a battlefield. I don't always win. Actually, I can barely make it to lunch time without a few reminders of how weak I am. But when I taste those victories...they are good. He is good through it all. I see that. I know that. I'm learning that over and over again.

Don't be fooled

2009-10-11T19:29:00.000-07:00

I had a friend tell me that I needed to update my blog. Well.

This isn't an update. It's a pre-update.

I will update tomorrow.

I must mention however that Annerson pooped in the tub again tonight. Not sure what's going on here. Based on the evidence (2x the amount of terds at a much quicker rate) she apparently was more relaxed than the first time it happened.

Not funny.

I was so close to getting the camera but Lex's words rang out in my head & I thought better of it.

"You didn't take a picture of it did you...If you did...." That was after the 1st time.

Peace out.

THANK YOU for not coming

2009-10-05T10:13:00.000-07:00

Gandy (Grandpa Joel) didn't come to Lubbock this past weekend for the Tech game. We always love it when he comes to visit, but this weekend we were able to use his season tickets and see Tech beat New Mexico. Last season we took her to a game and she slept the whole time. This time she wasn't interested in sleeping or watching the game. Although we missed seeing Gandy, it was fun to get out in the rain & watch Annerson run all over section 118. Lex & I both took turns keeping her occupied. At one point Lex took her to go get us a drink. It took them forever...like an entire quarter it seemed. Come to find out it's because Annerson made some fans and had 6 different people take pictures of her.

So THANKS GANDY for the tickets. As much fun as the game was we'd rather see you. So hurry and come to Lubbock this weekend already!!!!

Poop & Colds

2009-10-02T19:25:00.000-07:00

So...Annerson had her first floating terds in the tub tonight. Did I just type that?

I should have known she was pooping b/c she was sitting funny, but she's never done that before so I didn't even consider it until I saw 3 terds floating behind her. At that point I guess it wasn't really a consideration, more like a "AH! What do I do?" moment. I actually said that out loud & then looked at Annerson and said, "Don't you move!".

I grabbed her play cup and started corralling the little nuggets toward it. Looking back I realize that I should have gotten her out of the tub right away but all I could think about was the poop gone wild floating all over the place. Somewhere in there I drained the water and one little terdy escaped the cup of doom and got stuck in the drain. Quick thinking led me to grab a disposable razor and stick the end of it down into the drain to pull it out. It really was poop on a stick. Don't worry, I threw the razor away.

So finally I got Annerson out, bleached the tub & we started the bath routine all over again. I made it very clear that we don't poop in the tub, but I know that she's gonna go when she's gotta go so I just have to be ready, right? I think next time I will respond a little less franticly...well, can one ever really be prepared for tub poop? I sure wasn't tonight.

I know you are all expecting a picture to go along with this post, but I have to let you down. You read how I handled this people. There was no thought about grabbing the camera during that chaos. I do however have a picture to share that captures why my nose is bright red & about to fall off.

pile of kleenex after 1 night of blowing

All 3 of us are fighting colds.

I'm just thankful I don't have the flu.

I'll take a cold any day over the other stuff going around right now.

11 weeks down

2009-09-26T09:25:00.000-07:00

Here's a pic for all you curious minds.

I can still wear all my pants.

But I'm nervous before I get dressed each day b/c I'm just anticipating that squeeze to come anytime now.

I am feeling SO much better. Right after my last post my strength started turning around and I woke up with energy and motivation again. It's been so nice to feel more like myself.

So far this pregnancy has been very different from #1. Mostly because I've been feeling so uhh. This time I'm also having stronger eating issues...like not wanting to eat certain things (like Sheridan's...I know, it's insane!) or anything at all. Sometimes I actually crave things (like Skittles!) which I didn't really do last time either. It's been interesting so far.

Breaking all the rules

2009-09-17T16:03:00.000-07:00

I've discovered that the Leah I have become in the past five weeks is not the same Leah I was last time I was pregnant and definitely not the same Leah I was a month ago. Here's how I know this. Lately, I am breaking my own rules left and right. It's not necessarily a bad thing, but it's really freaking me out.

Apparently, I threw this out the window...

1. The no nap rule was the first thing to go. I take a nap EVERYDAY now. When Annerson goes down for her afternoon nap I close my eyes immediately. I look forward to it all morning. The fact that I can do this day after day, not just occasionally, convinces me they missed like 2 other yolk sacs on our ultrasound...cause there's gotta be more than one baby in there! It's just not natural to be this tired!!

2. Baby Einstein is no longer a once in a blue moon treat for Anner. Oh no. I've been sick since Saturday=she's watched it at least once everyday since Saturday. Just typing those words makes me cringe. BUT it is survival in this family right now. Pure survival people. It's awful, I know!

3. I leave dirty diapers in the car now. I DIDN'T MEAN TO!!! I usually bring in everything from the car every time I come home (diaper bag, trash, cups, etc.). Well, the other day Lex & I were getting ready to go somewhere and discovered a nastacular spell coming from the car. Of course I assume it's the trash in the garage...oh no. It was a pee pee diaper that had been in there for a day or 2. Where's your head Leah?

4. Blogging...let me just say that I think about it almost everyday but never do it. The fact that I'm blogging right now about breaking rules instead of our trip to Missouri 2 weeks ago to celebrate Papa's 90th Birthday or baby Grant Dallas being born or the fact that today is my sweet husband's bday and I haven't put up anything for him on the blog (sorry Lexy poo) is out of character for me. I don't like to miss things & when I do, I usually do a ferocious post to get it all in. Not today my friends. I'm moving on. I wish I could post extensively about all those things that have been going on in our life but it's just not going to happen right now.

5. Instead of playing with Annerson in the floor I lay on the couch and watch her play. This is the worst. I'm usually trying really hard not to move around because it's then that I get really nauseous and start feeling awful. So I watch the poor child play and toddle around the room. I don't sleep or anything, just interact from the couch. It's so annoying. At least she still calls me Mama!

Those are a FEW of the things I've been doing of late that are most definitely out of the ordinary for Leah. So if you haven't heard from me in a while or I haven't seemed myself please know that it is only because I feel like a walking nauseous zombie mom who just wants some more sleep!

This pregnancy is very different from the last one. I don't remember being nearly this tired or sick last time. I know the Lord is making me stronger in many ways through this. It's not fun, but it's part of the sacrifice of being a mom. I'm just grateful I get to experience it no matter how unpleasant it may seem to be at times. It's a blessing any way you slice it.

I'm 10 weeks tomorrow! Woohoo for 1/4 down, 3/4s to go!!

Maybe I won't wait half a month until my next post. :)

Hard to Believe

2009-09-01T20:08:00.000-07:00

I don't feel like this year has flown by or gone by so fast as they say. I feel like Annerson came into our lives a long time ago. I can't remember me before her. Just like I can't remember me before marrying Lex. Of course I remember things, but I can't put my thumb on that world. It seems too distant.

It's so hard to believe that Lex & I have a 1 year old daughter. It blows my mind. I don't have the mental energy to blog a bunch of emotions right now. As much as I want to write a 5 paragraph essay about the past year, I have to get off the computer and go to bed.

However, I do have some pictures from her party to share.

The party was amazing.

Perfect in fact.

Not too much.

Not too little.

Thank you Lord for people who love our daughter & want to celebrate her life with us.

My cake

2009-08-25T13:08:00.000-07:00

That's right. I got a HSM cake yesterday for my 27th bday!

URAQT-you are a cutie...thanks

ZUP?-really? did they really put that on a cake?

2G2BT-this cake is too good to be true!

GR8-GREAT!

Check out the locker! It's so cool.

The mini locker had a mini "yearbook" and stickers

Go TROY!

I also received 2 other yummy treats yesterday for my bday.

Lex brought me breakfast in bed.

Tim & Beth took me to Sheridan's for my most favorite treat in the whole world.

Thank you for making my bday special!!!

Thy mercy

2009-08-19T15:04:00.000-07:00

Today, I just need to shout this from the mountain tops.

Thy mercy my God is the theme of my song
The joy of my heart and the boast of my tongue
Thy free grace alone from the first to the last
Hath won my affection and bound my soul fast

Without Thy sweet mercy i could not live here
Sin would reduce me to utter despair
But through Thy free goodness my spirits revive
And He who first made me still keeps me alive

Thy mercy is more than a match for my heart
Which wonders to feel its own hardness depart
Dissolved by Thy goodness i fall to the ground
And weep for the praise of the mercy i've found

Great Father of mercy, Thy goodness i own
And the covenant love of Thy crucified Son
All praise to the Spirit whose whisper divine
Seals mercy and pardon and righteousness mine!
All praise to the Spirit whose whisper divine
Seals mercy and pardon and righteousness mine!
Alleluia!

Thy Mercy by Caedmon's Call

Big sisters need big girl car seats

2009-08-14T09:48:00.000-07:00

Annerson got her new car seat installed and became a big sister all within a few hours. On Saturday we found out we were pregnant. After weeks of pregnancy tests we finally got a positive result. This week has been quite the whirlwind of events. I called the doctor on Monday. Then on Wednesday I filled out paper work, did blood work, & scheduled an ultrasound for Thursday. Since the 1st day of my last period was 10 weeks ago they wanted to do an ultrasound right away to get an accurate due date. Yesterday I went to Lubbock Radiology Associates for the ultrasound. Good news is that I'm pregnant. Bad news is that I'm only 5 WEEKS! WHAT? So the 1st missed period was a fluke. So weird.

Because I am super dupper ridiculous early I have to have another ultrasound next Friday so they can label it a viable pregnancy. I definitely see the reason why they make you wait until 7 weeks before you have that first ultrasound. We couldn't see anything but the sac & that was a little unnerving. Right now there's nothing to see though not even a heart beat. All to say, I feel fine & am so excited to finally be pregnant again. I always imagined that I would be pregnant at Annerson's 1st birthday party.

So Annerson is using her big girl car seat now. It gives her so much more room! I think she likes it alot. It seems to be pretty comfortable b/c she's always falling asleep in the car now! We will continue through August to face her backwards. I will flip her the moment the doctor gives me the ok. Her 1 year appointment is the day after her birthday and she's really close to breaking the 20 pound mark. YAY! She's doing so much better with her weight.

Home again Home again Jiggidy Jog

2009-08-10T18:50:00.000-07:00

It never failed. Every time we pulled into the carport at Mimi & Papa's house she would say, "Home again, home again. Jiggidy jog." Those words brought me comfort time & time again. I feel like I'm home again home again and finally settled in.

My time in Missouri was amazing. God taught me so much in those 9 days. Here's a glimpse of some of the situations that caused emotional & physical overload:

being away from Lex...always very hard for me because I am head over heels for my husband
being away from Lex with Annerson...automatically means double duty for me because Lex helps out A LOT with his baby girl
getting to spend over a week with my brother...he's so amazing & I always learn so much from being around him
taking care of my nieces and nephews...ALL SIX OF THEM...I seriously thought I wasn't going to make it after the first day I had them to myself...but it got so much easier & a whole lot of fun as I acclimated to the call of duty!
spending an entire week in close proximity to my mother...which turned out to be very enjoyable (Praise God that she is the most level headed I've EVER known her to be in my whole life!)
spending good quality time with Xia & Diezel for the first time since they've been home...this was so hard for me...I'll explain later

It was a crazy week. I survived being away from Lex surprisingly well. I was so busy with the kids and keeping up with the house that I hardly had any physical or mental energy left to do anything else. Annerson was a complete mess the whole time. She was very overwhelmed because a.) all the attention and b.) she was not quickly adjusting to being out of her normal surroundings. So she clinged to me nearly the whole time. It was a miracle moment when she'd let McKayley or Faith hold her without first having a cry fest. That was a little overwhelming for me because I would be trying to do laundry and they'd bring her in to me in the middle of it all. I couldn't get a lot done unless she was asleep. Naptime for the toddlers and Annerson meant go time for me. There was no getting on the computer or blogging during nap time. When they hit the pillow, I hit the dishes, laundry, toys, dinner preparations, etc. It was non-stop. In fact I have to interrupt myself and give a shout out to my sister Steffany right now.

Steffany,

My admiration for you has officially launched to the furthest galaxy. I do not know how you do it day after day. I really don't. I know it's totally different because you went from 1 to 6 one at a time (except for #5 & #6 but you know what I mean!) so you had time to adjust. But I know you must be worn out at the end of every day nonetheless. You have to be such a God-dependent mom to live that life. I so admire you. So so much. Thank you for fulfilling God's calling for your life. It was very humbling to walk in your shoes while you were gone. I don't know how you do it, but I'm glad you do!

Ok, where was I? All I know is this-while I was there I was exhausted in every way imaginable but loved it at the same time because I got to spend time with my precious nieces & nephews, my brother, & my mom. I'd do it all again in a heart beat.

Since Xia & Diezel have been home I have had 3 brief interactions with them. This week gave me the much needed chance to open up my aunt heart to them. I've always loved them, even before they came home, but I hadn't bonded with them yet. The time I spent with them was good. They are hilarious, precious, and much more "Americanized" than I thought possible. Xia kept calling me "Hey You" but would say "Aunt Leah" as soon as I responded with, "What's my name?". She is so sweet and polite and girly. I love it. Diezel is just all boy. I think he likes me enough. We made great progress with him pooping in the potty so that was good. I think it just took one good observation of me changing Annerson's diaper for him to see how gross it was to change a poopy. After that he never pooped in his diaper again while I was there! Ha! The twins change the dynamics of the family and for this reason I found myself frustrated. Often I'd catch myself having a hard heart toward them because they make life in general so much harder, or maybe I should say that things are more complicated with them. I don't know what the right word is. I know that is so stupid & I hate that I battle these thoughts (and I did battle them with God's love & truth), but I thought them regardless. Adoption is beautiful and ugly at the same time. I've had many conversations with Steffany about how hard the last year has been on them. When I thought these things I forced myself to picture them in the situation they knew in Africa. This broke my heart and immediately stirred my heart to love them more. Even though I know the twins are here to stay, I think I still see them as these sweet little babies that are staying with my brother & sis-in-law for a while. Don't get me wrong, I love them like crazy. If you know me at all, you know that I adore my nieces and nephews. Jace, McKayley, Faith & Lukas are INCREDIBLY near to my heart. I just expected to automatically feel the same towards the twins. I'm just not sure what to do with the fact that I don't yet have the same affections for them. I'm sure it will just take time. I know that they are just as much a part of this family as anyone. It's just going to take some getting used to on my part. Is that wrong to feel like that?

I know I am totally rambling in this post. I'm a little scattered tonight. Sorry!

I didn't get to take many good pictures but here are a few that should give you an idea of what the week looked like.

hungry children

McKayley, Jace & Faith with Papa

the chair

Annerson crawled up stairs for the first time! She loved it!

She went up the stairs over and over again.

Sweet McKayley...the mother, nurturer,

and serenity of the group

Faith washing the bus!

Diezel ditched us so that he could shine up his own ride!

(Some of these pics loaded funky for some reason)

Lukas decided that his ride needed some attention as well

Annerson was not enjoying her light saber training

NuNu showing Annerson his muscles. So cute!

Ollie was all too easily replaced in Annerson's heart

with their new kitten Tyler

Annerson enjoying her MeMa!

brother all dressed up

look at those smiles

nightly ritual bathtime

In case you are wondering where Steffany was all week, she went backpacking in Colorado. I haven't talked to her about her trip yet but I know it was brutal & very challenging. She said the Lord taught her so much. It sounds like we both had weeks filled with lessons, only I got to learn mine with the comforts of a warm shower & comfy bed while she slept on the earth in a sleeping bag and pooped in a hole with 10 other women. Hmm....

I survived

2009-08-08T19:36:00.000-07:00

Home.

Had a blast.

Tired.

Need to unpack.

Need to blog.

Need to sleep more.

The last 2 weeks...

2009-07-28T18:53:00.000-07:00

We went to Disney World

Annerson discovered ballons

Annerson discovered Florida heat

(yes, her hair is drenched w/ sweat, not water)

We took pictures for a couple that just got engaged at Sea World.

His camera broke 10 mins. before he proposed.

Aren't they cutie?

I remembered why I wanted to be a marine biologist in high school

Lex's brother Glenn & Rachelle got married in Orlando

Glenn entered the wedding reception dressed like this

Uh...

Anners and I shared a special mommy daughter dance during the reception

Annerson continued to find new and improved ways to play Peek-a-Boo

We had a sweet visit from Gramie

we had TWO 3 day visits from my dad

1 before we went to Florida and one after

(we kinda look alike, huh?)

It's been a fun July for the Dooleys.

Wednesday morning we leave Lubbock again. This time will be super fun but in a very different way. Lex is flying to Boston to drive back to Texas with his best friend Graham. I am flying to St. Louis to visit my brother & sister and the kids. Lex will be gone a week. I'll be gone 10 days! I'm almost hyperventilating just typing it out.

Lex has never been away from Annerson or me this long.

The separation will be hard so please pray for us!!

P.S. Lex went over to tell Allen, our crazy neighbor, that we were leaving town. He came back and said that Allen didn't even live there anymore. He just moved out and 2 other guys are living there now. He didn't even say bye.

I'm off to finish the last minute packing and then it's off to bed. I'll try to update from the road but I can't make any promises. (:

He's Enough,

Leah

we're getting close people

2009-07-26T20:11:00.000-07:00

She left us

2009-07-23T10:55:00.000-07:00

Tara moved back home to Houston in May. She and I met on mission trip a long time ago...6 years I think. She thought I was crazy and I thought she was an adorable girl who had just found Jesus. She was at the beginning of a lifelong journey of faith, a journey that I was blessed to get to become a part of. That was the start of our friendship. Years later we are closer than ever. I started discipling her 2 years ago when she was in our Challenge leadership group. She has become like a little sister to me and a friend I can share my family & faith with.

A few words to describe Tara

a genuine friend

faithful to the Lord

loves the Word of God

precious sense of humor

golden smile

Annerson especially misses Aunt Tara. I've always said she is Annerson's biggest fan (besides our family members that adore her!). She has been there through it all; finding out I was pregnant, sitting on the couch with me & saying, "I can't believe there's a baby in there! It's so weird!", watching me get big, coming to the hospital right after church got out when Annerson was born, witnessing Annerson's milestones & accomplishments, countless hours spent playing with Annerson in our home, countless hours spent in our home doing nothing, and most of all, countless hours spent in the Word together, crying, laughing, growing...

I miss her. Lubbock isn't the same without Tara. Somedays I wish she'd just call me up and say "I'm on my way over. What kind of drink do you want from Sonic?"

Here are some pictures from the last couple of days before Tara left

Anners & Tara reading her new GiGi book

sweet friends

it started hitting Tara that she was leaving

It started hitting Anners that she was leaving

still sad...

opening her going away presents

right before she drove out of Lubbock

Ollie...very sad. She and Tara shared a special bond.

More like a love/hate relationship actually.

"You can't leave if I'm sitting in your seat!"

Tara,

I know you miss Annerson probably the most of everyone you left in Lubbock. She misses you, too. She really does. So here is a special birthday message just from her.

We are so excited for you Tara.

I can't wait to see how God grows your faith this year. Thank you for loving us so much.

I hope you have an amazing birthday today!!!

Last 4th v. this 4th

2009-07-06T06:06:00.000-07:00

Last year

This year

Yo-Baby Yo-Baby Yo-Baby Yo!

2009-07-05T20:45:00.001-07:00

For all you moms out there!!!!

I have a sweet friend who is doing a cool YoBaby giveaway. It's totally free.

If you don't have babies I'd still enter. The yogurt is the bomb. I feel guilty, but I take bites of Annerson's sometimes.

Towells Blog-YoBaby Giveaway

It ends Monday night so hurry!

Jessica-I know you'll be getting in on this :)

Freedom from what?

2009-07-04T13:15:00.000-07:00

Tonight I am going to the in-laws for the traditional 4th of July BBQ. I kinda wish I had something a little more exciting to do. Lex is working though & I had too many invites to narrow it down to one...well, that last part wasn't true. So grandma's house is it. I love Lex's parents so it will be fun!

The big city of Wolfforth puts on a noteworthy fireworks show. I'm not planning on keeping Annerson up to watch it so I'll probably be viewing the spectacular lights from the kitchen window! Oh the things we gladly sacrifice for our children.

So even though I'm not super focused on patriotic activities and the such, I did wake up with an overwhelming feeling of gratitude for the freedom I experience personally. I've been thinking about it all day.

I am so free...from the burden of trying to do the right thing and be a moral person in an effort to win God's approval. Don't hear that I don't strive to please God by obeying Him or living morally. What I mean is that I get to spend my life on earth and my eternal life in the presence of God and the ONLY reason I get to do so is because the minute I understood that Christ died for MY sins I was called righteous, or saved, or in simple terms-forgiven. Forgiven for the past, present & future sins that are in my heart. The best part of this is that I never had to prove myself worthy of Christ's love. He called me in my sin-not after I had it all together or had worked to clean myself up. The best of the best attempts on my part are not even on the radar in light of a holy & perfect God. No matter how hard I try, I will never be a good enough person to deserve God's love. He is infinitely holy. I am not. It doesn't matter to what degree or level I might be categorized in as a moral person. I fall short of God's glory & therefore have no hope...unless...unless Jesus frees me from the penalty of the law by way of the cross!!

I've heard this over and over and over, all my life. But lately it is just overwhelming to think about. Today it is overwhelming to think about. So I celebrate this freedom that I dwell in day after day.

I am thankful for my country, yes. I am thankful for our founding fathers & the blood that was shed to secure our liberty. I am thankful that I am not persecuted as many of my brothers & sisters in Christ because we have "religious freedom" in America. I put quotations around religious freedom b/c it is quickly dwendling for Christians in America. Example: preachers are being persecuted for calling homosexuality or abortion a sin in the pulpit. Really? So basically we are "free" to believe in the Bible as long as it doesn't offend anyone and at that point we receive the discrimination. That's a totally different topic. Regardless, we still experience so many more freedoms as believers than other nations allow. For that I am grateful.

But I chose to not only celebrate our nation's freedom but the author of that freedom as well as eternal freedom for those who believe. I love the way Matt Chandler describes celebrating. Celebrate the source of the shadow and not the shadow. The creator and not the created. Makes so much more sense doesn't it?

These are 3 of my favorite verses in the whole Bible. They all have to do with freedom.

Now the Lord is the Spirit, and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom. 2 Corinthians 3:17

Then you will know the truth and the truth will set you free. John 8:32

It is for freedom that Christ set us free. Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery. Galatians 5:1

So as you celebrate freedom tonight it is my prayer that you really contemplate what you are free from and what you need to be freed from. I praise God for so many things that He has brought me out of and ultimately freed me from. And still, there are areas of my life where I am in bondage to sin & seek freedom. By no means do I ever stop struggling to be free from my own sin.

So as you eat homemade ice cream & watch fireworks tonight ask yourself: Do you know the Truth? Do you know the Spirit of the Lord? Are you burdened by a yoke of slavery? Do you know that there is freedom in Christ & what the freedom is from? I'm warning you that these are tough questions. They can shake you up inside and out. However, I propose that the answers to these questions are by far the most freeing of all.

Be safe & don't burn yourself!

cute, cutie, cuteness, cuteousity, cuterific, & cuteastic

2009-07-02T19:44:00.000-07:00

This was by far my favorite month with Annerson. She experienced leaps and bounds in all areas of her development. From totally mastering the "bye-bye" wave to signing "more" at meal times, Annerson blew my mind as I watched her study, communicate, learn & grow this month. She is slowly adding more words to her repertoire; bye-bye, mama, dada, ki-ki (Ollie), bear...I'm sure the average onlooker wouldn't be able to understand her...but we can! She tells us what she wants by pointing (to everything I might add!) and grunting. On the flip side, she loves to shake her head no if she doesn't want something.

Just the other day she started standing without holding onto anything. That's weird. Guess the next step is....uh, a step? We'll see what this month holds.

Thank you Lord for 10 beautiful months with this sweet baby girl.

Isn't our cat HUGE?

"One last stretch before I get up

and walk away from this crazy kid."

This picture capture well the relationship between Ollie & Annerson.

"Uh! I can't believe you don't want to play

pull ki-ki's tail with me Ollie! How rude!"

I was trying to capture her signing "more" but couldn't quite get it in time.

Anyways, that's what she was telling me in this picture.

"MORE PUFFS PLEASE!!!"

She knows how to give kisses!

My favorite picture I took this month

First trip to the pool

2009-06-26T13:26:00.000-07:00

It went well minus the fact that Annerson screams every time someone splashes the water or jumps in the pool. It scares her for some reason. She really doesn't like it if you go under the water. She freaks out. But besides that....

Happy Father's Day Lexington!

2009-06-21T12:45:00.000-07:00

You never fail to amaze me when I watch you with Annerson.

We are both very blessed.

Happy 1st Father's Day love!

If at first you don't succeed

2009-06-19T15:27:00.000-07:00

I think I can.

I'm pretty sure I can.

Nope. Can't drive over my books.

I'll just go this way instead!

Mess

2009-06-16T15:34:00.000-07:00

Annerson experienced her first

" straight from the high chair to the sink & hose her down"

dinner last night.

Or should I say, Lex & I experienced it.

She had more food in her hair and under her chin than on her face.

I don't say it enough

2009-06-12T20:04:00.000-07:00

Jesus is My God. He's not just my salvation, but He's author of my faith & sits on the throne in my heart. I fight Him for that position day after day. Thank HIM He always wins :)

I just want people who read this blog to know that. It's so easy to talk about Annerson or Lex or pittly little day to day stuff and forget to post about the fact that Christ is behind it all. He's the driving force & absolute core of who I am at all times.

He's done a miraculous work on this rebellious girl. I don't deserve one second of His time or love, yet He pours it out on me. POURS IT. Not just gives me glimpses every once in a while. But overflows my cup with His grace & mercy. It doesn't make sense.

Why would the Creator of all things waste time trying to reconcile my black heart to His glorious Splendor? Who am I? I'm no one. I'm absolutely filthy rags & that's the beauty of it. There's nothing I can do or not do to change my "worthiness" of God's love. All I can do is plead the blood of Christ. And I do. Everyday.

His grace truly is sufficient. I hope you understand that.

Normal Day

2009-06-10T13:19:00.000-07:00

Normal day, let me be aware of the treasure you are.

Let me learn from you, love you, bless you before you depart.

Let me not pass you by in quest of some rare and perfect tomorrow.

This quote describes perfectly so much of how I often feel.

Growing

2009-06-03T21:47:00.000-07:00

Annerson had her 9 month check up this morning. It seems like we were just visiting Dr. Stripling's office for her 3 day appointment. It really does goes by in a blink.

She is progressing really well in her development. The doctor was impressed with her cognitive abilities more than anything. He said that she seemed 2 months ahead of schedule in that area. Works for me!

Drum roll for the bullet list of milestones....hey, the grandparents want to know this stuff, ok?

She weighs 16.5 lbs. -10% percentile
She's 27.25 inches long -50% percentile
Head is also 50% percentile...44 cm.
She's crawling! She started at 8 1/2 months.
She's pulling up. This happened a few days after crawling.
Almost cruising-she'll take the steps if we coax her to come our way.
She loves puffs, soft table foods & most baby foods
She's started trying to feed us her finger foods...adorable
She's always standing in her crib when I go get her in the morning
Annerson loves to take walks. I told this to my Papa tonight on the phone. We were on a walk when I was talking to him and he said, "You mean she's WALKING ALREADY?" I guess that could be confusing since I said, "We're on a walk." Or maybe it's just because he's 89 years old. Gotta love Papa.
Finally, after 2 months of laboring, figured out how to drink from her sippy cup
Let's see...she points, shakes her head no in response to us telling her "NO", has started dancing when music is on, & is starting to wave
This girl loves Olly! She gets so excited when he walks in the room or she hears him meow. The feelings aren't exactly mutual.

The list goes on and go of course. But you get the jist. She's our little Annerson Grace & we love her dearly. Everyday there is something waiting to capture our amazement. Everyday we feel the bond grow as a family.

Here are some of my favorite pics from her 8th month

New Moon trailer

2009-06-01T13:48:00.001-07:00

The notorious steroid post

2009-05-26T18:51:00.000-07:00

I'm way over due for one of those ultra posts where I put a million pics of a million different things all in one. I always do it. I know you know what I'm talking about. That's just what I do when I get super behind on my blogging. I just don't want to leave anything out!

So here it is:

As many of you know my precious friend Tara moved from Lubbock back home to Houston. We got to spend some good quality time with her before she left. One night we went over to Tim & Beth's for some homemade pizza (why's it still doing this? How annoying! I can't get it to stop!!) Ahhhh!!!!!!!!

Ok, that's better. Anyways. That was ridiculous. Um, where was I? Oh yeah! We had dinner with the Dallas family. Here are some pictures of our adventurous evening.

Waiting outside for 10 mintues b/c Zach & Calyn couldn't get the door open. We could hear them on the inside laughing and trying to open the door. We seriously settled in & got cozy on the front porch. We began to wonder if Beth was even home! Don't worry, she was. Apparently Beth was in the shower.

After dinner we were all serenaded by Zach & Calyn...huhum...I mean, Jon & Laney. It's true. Guest appearance at the Dallas house.

It took them a while to get started, but once they did, they were good!

Look at the way she holds that mic! She is working it people.

And Jon....he gets down. Don't let his shy personality fool you.

He's a maniac on the guitar.

This is baby Abby Dallas. She is trying out to be the Pearl Merchant dancer/event coordinator. They're negotiating with Bobby D. as to wether or not she'd be allowed to actually dance on stage during 9:30 worship.

We're keeping our fingers crossed Abby! You go girl!

Later that week Abby came over to play with Anners while Zach & Calyn played their 2nd t-ball game of the day. She quickly realized that Annerson had an activity table that looked all too familiar to one she used to have. Hmmm....Don't worry Abby. If you keep reading this post you will realize that Annerson now has her own table thanks to Gandy and can promptly return yours so you can not play with it. :)

We decided to weather the cold weather and go to game #3.

Bundled up in May for a t-ball game.

"Can we take the activity table? Please."

All-stars of the game!

THE Zach & Calyn Dallas

Ok, this part was funny. Tim is announcing the team, munchkins, line-up, whatever you call it, and Abby runs out to the middle of the field and stops. She's so cute. She's practically the mascot.

Ok, this part was even funnier. DURING THE GAME (see the girl in the bottom right corner about to swing, uh huh) Abby runs out onto the field. Beth jumps up and grabs her & just keeps walking. It was awesome.

Maybe in a few years kid.

Happy & calm.

Not so happy & calm.

Annerson's reaction when I reminded her that Tara was leaving us soon.

BFFs

So cute!

By now you may be saying to yourself, "Are they like obsessed with the Dallas fam or something?"

In response to that I say, "Tara & I are co-founders of the I HEART DALLAS FAMILY CLUB" It's a non-prof organization for Dallas lovers like ourselves. So yes, we might just be obsessed with this family. If you knew them, you would be too!

PART B:

Gandy Joel (that's his grandfather name until "Annerson decides for herself what she wants to call me") came to visit before Memorial Day. We spent the majority of the time playing with the collection of new toys he bought for her.

Annerson is Joel's first grandbaby so I have really enjoyed watching him get more and more comfortable with her as she gets older. I could tell that this trip he was very relaxed & confident. He fed her. Played with her. Held her a bunch. Still no offers to change a diaper though. Maybe next time.

Exploring the new Baby Grand Piano.

SIDE NOTE: Joel researched this toy before purchasing it. It's true. When he got to Lubbock he pulled it up online to show me. He did his homework. The best part was when he found out that the Toys R Us had one in stock for us to go buy. Good grandpa, huh?

Going the wrong way

Stuck

new activity table

Dinner at Steve & Kathi's

That's right Annerson...always expect flowers

What's better than playing with our pet cat

Olllie who can't stand me & always runs away?

A BLIND cat!

She can't see my sticky little fingers coming for the whiskers!!!

We went to volunteer at an assisted living home

& met this crazy man named Steve. He lost his marbles.

Annerson though he was funny.

Sporting the Tech onesie for the fun of it

Gandy trying to teach Anners about stocks. She wasn't too into it.

Part C:

Tara left Lubbock.

That's all I'm going to blog about that right now.

Tune in next time w/ I feel a little bit more emotionally stable & can deal with that post.

Real life Monopoly

2009-05-26T14:16:00.001-07:00

I feel like I landed on the chance square in Monopoly & drew the "Bank Error in Your Favor! Collect $100" card.

Buying a big girl car seat is always better when the money to purchase it comes in the form of a reimbursement check from our old health insurance. Apparently we overpaid $320.83 on a bill from when Annerson was born. Just in time to purchase the car seat I've been wanting that sells for $279...God is so awesome in the ways He provides.

So Busted

2009-05-23T17:05:00.000-07:00

I have a feeling that this will be the first of many "busted" moments

"What?"

Blogging

2009-05-21T14:02:00.001-07:00

So much to blog about. So little time. Maybe I can catch up this weekend.

Till then...peace & joy!!

Just Pray

2009-05-15T17:13:00.001-07:00

My 1st Mom's Day

2009-05-10T19:20:00.000-07:00

I have an amazing husband.

This is what I woke up to this morning.

Lex got me a gift certificate to the Woodhouse Spa

for a massage & facial acupressure. Super excited about this. Definitely needed!

I had a card from Anners on my night stand-Hoops & YoYo. All time FAV!

Another card, from Lex, awaited me at the table.

He also planned to cook me breakfast.

Definitely had the pans on the stove ready to go before he went to bed last night!

Definitely had the bowl ready to mix the eggs in

& the s&p prepped for seasoning before he went to bed last night!

This was the cutest.

Lex did all this last night AFTER he got off work at 1am. He is so cute. He tried so hard.

He didn't get to bed until 2:45am and then woke up at 7:45 with me to cook me breakfast.

Time Out.

After the tour of the prep work I realized what was going on & felt really bad. I had planned on going to Mommies & Muffins up at the church. This meant that I was leaving sooner than he had planned & that he'd have to make breakfast right then instead of in a little bit. He was going to go back to sleep for a little while. Bye bye precious sleep for the oh so tired husband.

So...I told him to go back to sleep & not to worry about actually cooking the breakfast he had well prepared & planned!!

He actually didn't mind this gesture on my part. It was pretty comical actually. He didn't even put up much of a protest. He just went back to sleep!

All the effort was very very much appreciated nonetheless. I felt so special & loved. I didn't even care if he cooked the breakfast or not.

He made my first Mother's Day perfect!

Thank you amazing husband who I love so dearly. (no hints as to what I wanted or anything! He's good. He's fast.)

OH! I also got flowers from Joel! They were delivered on Saturday. This made me feel super super special also. EVERY girl needs to have flowers DELIVERED to her every once in a while. It's so fun!

Thanks Joel!!

HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY TO ALL YOU AMAZING MOMS OUT THERE!

ENJOY EVERY SECOND OF YOUR BEAUTIFUL CHILDREN!!!!!!

Low Rider

2009-05-09T20:49:00.001-07:00

Lex keeps calling Annerson a low rider because we lowered her crib today.

He's a major dad dork...but in an adorably sweet way!!

bye bye newborn crib height...hello about to be toddler height..sniffles

"Wow! I'm getting so big!"

"Wow! I love to have my mouth open all the time!"

Don't you think she's looking more and more like Lex?

75% to 1 year

2009-05-05T14:52:00.000-07:00

Annerson turned 8 months while we were in Dallas last week. We had a great time by the way. It was so good to see my friends and Aunt Stef. Annerson got to meet April, Laura, Amy & Sage. We spent Wednesday with Aunt Stef & had lunch with her on Thursday. It was such a good trip.

Laura is 12 weeks pregnant so she got a little taste of what is to come :)

I thought I'd post some pics of the past month. Here's a little of what she's been up to.

Trying new foods...always interesting

Looking oh so cute in her Easter dress

Skyping with the Browns in Africa!

Easter Sunday...a little frustrated

with the egg apparently

visiting with Aunt Ambi & sticking my tongue out!

Playing with her blocks

She started sleeping on her tummy some

Smile!

Walks with Daddy

snuggling the bumper

I've heard a lot of this lately:

"You look just like your mommy."

"Look at those blue eyes!"

"Well hello, bright eyes."

"She is so cute!"

These are a few of the comments I hear OVER AND OVER again when I'm in public with Annerson. I love it.

Lex & I are having so much fun being parents. God has shown us pieces of Him that we never knew existed. He's shown us pieces of our own hearts that need changing. He's shown us truths we need to embrace & lies we need to let go of. Being a parent is so amazing.

Thank you Lord for these 8 months with Annerson Grace. It is pure joy.

She loves Aunt Steffy

2009-04-28T16:42:00.000-07:00

All week Annerson and I have been singing the AUNT STEFFY song.

"You love Aunt Steffy! You love Aunt Steffy!"

Well, I guess I sing it and do a weird dance that I never can seem to remember so I make up a new one everytime I sing it! Annerson just looks at me and smiles & laughs!

We are driving to Dallas tomorrow to see Aunt Steffy! Woohoo!!!

Lex is staying here :( so I'm a little scared about making the drive alone.

Steffany is coming to Dallas for an orphan conference. We are going to spend Wednesday with her. Her conference is all day Thurs. & Fri. so I'll hang out with some other friends Thursday and then drive home Friday.

Gotta go load up the car.

Does Amarillo mean "yellow" in Spanish or "Home of Texas's best photographer"?

2009-04-22T13:28:00.000-07:00

We just got our pictures back from a photo shoot we did 2 weeks ago.

May I just brag a little bit about our sweet photographer? Of course I can! This is my blog :)

We rescheduled out appointment with her TWICE because Anners wasn't sitting up and then because the wind was ridiculously violent the day we were supposed to drive to Amarillo. Then Lezlie insisted on coming to Lubbock so we could get it done more easily. I wouldn't let her do that so we set a time, Monday morning after Easter. That girl drove her husband and daughter home early from Dallas and fit us in on top of 2 other shoots she had that day.

Her favorite words are "It's not a big deal. It's fine. Really, I don't mind!" She's awesome.

Not to mention that she loves the Lord!! Lezlie recently took a two week mission trip to India to serve with her church. Her husband words for Hillside Christian Church Amarillo. They are the sweetest couple in the world. God has truly blessed us through Lezlie and her heart for photography.

Thanks for the beautiful pics Lez, but mostly, thanks for the friendship.

Lezlie Andrew's website

maternity pics

Annerson's newborn pics

vote for Lezlie Andrew-best Amarillo photographer award

Anxious

2009-04-21T19:53:00.000-07:00

Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts.

See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.

Psalm 139: 23

This verse is spinning in my mind these days. Still trying to figure it all out.

Searching and waiting.

Intercede

2009-04-20T10:51:00.001-07:00

Intercede: Intervene on behalf of another

Will you just prayer for me if you are reading this? I've let a dark cloud settle in. The last couple of days have been full of spiritual attacks and my Spirit is tired.

Thank you.

Easter Dress

2009-04-11T21:18:00.000-07:00

I'm so excited about my Easter dress this year because I don't have one!!!

The reason I do not have an Easter dress IS NOT b/c I don't have time to worry about that sort of thing this year since I'm a mom and all or that we don't have the money to buy one. That's not the case at all.

It's b/c I didn't want to do that this year. I wanted to see if I could enjoy the blessing of the resurrection & focus my heart on that this year instead of preoccupying my affections with an excuse to buy a new outfit! So far, I've been more than satisfied in the outcome. I haven't hyperventilated yet that I won't have a shiny new pair of heels to wear with a new dress to church tomorrow. In fact, it's almost midnight and I'm still not sure what I'm wearing to church tomorrow! Ha! I love it!!!

In case you haven't experienced Easter...I mean, experienced the cross, not hard boiled eggs & fake grass, then here's what it means to me:

I am free. I am free from the punishment that sin requires from a perfect & holy God. On the cross Jesus hung with the weight of ALL sin on his body. He was sinless and became sin for me, for YOU, so that we might have a restored relationship with the Father, the creator of everything. When looking at the cross you may see a figure that is all too familiar, yet not much more than a man on a cross. When I look at the cross I see my life. Jesus is LIFE, not part of life. He is my purpose for living. When He got up on that cross He extended an invitation for me to follow. To turn from my own self-serving, self-gratifying nature, & fix my eyes upon His face for all of my life. It's FANTASTIC (a little Nacho Libre in there...sorry about that, I couldn't stop myself). Back to it---tomorrow morning marks a moment in the year where the believer's heart can settle on one thought, the resurrection. How sweet to know that "it is finished" and I don't have to work, just believe.

If you are a believer or not, know this; He paid it all on that cross. Stop laboring. Stop trying to produce your right standing with God. Stop trying to save yourself.

JUST STAND IN AWE OF THE GRACE POURED OUT ON THAT BLOODY OLD CROSS.

For it is by GRACE you have been saved, through faith--and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God. Ephesians 2:9

So if you are worried about some silly old dress, don't. It doesn't matter tomorrow morning.

All that matters is how your heart responds to Christ. How will you respond? It is a gift from God. Take it.

P.B. Huh? Poplar Bluff, Huh? Spell it. .

2009-04-07T20:09:00.000-07:00

I'm not in the mood to write much but I did want to get some pics posted from our trip to Missouri.

We spent the 1st half of our week in Columbia w/ Adam & Stef and the kids. If you don't already know, I absolutely adore this family. My brother...well, he's just amazing. Steffany is my sister & dearest friend. We talk at least once a day. The kids...I absolutely adore these kids.

After a lot of celebration, trampoline jumping, & Twilight watching (don't worry, just the adults, no kids) we loaded up the big rig and drove down to P.B. for the 2nd half of the trip. It was so much fun!

Annerson spent a lot of time with her grandmother Mi-Ma and great grandfather Papa. We can't wait to go back in August for Papa's 90th BIRTHDAY PARTY!!

You gotta get one of these

2009-04-04T19:43:00.000-07:00

I'm pretty pumped about this.

Useless

2009-04-02T20:08:00.000-07:00

This is a totally useless post, but I'm posting it anyway. I used to think that high fevers were like really really dangerous and bad. Annerson has had a fever ranging from 101-102 for 7 days now, on and off. Tonight around 5pm it reached a record high-103.6. For some reason I always thought that anything over 102 meant "YIKES!" & straight to the hospital. I don't remember having high fevers when I was young so these numbers initially freaked me out. But I'm kinda used to them now & Lex & my sister Stef have helped me get a better understanding of it all. So I'm kinda fascinated with that thermometer now & not so scared of it. I told you this was a totally useless post.

On a more serious note...Annerson has an ear infection and probably some other infection circulating around her sinus/throat area. She got a not so friendly shot today & is on antibiotics. She's still super fussy & pretty miserable.

I hope that she turns around in the next 24 hrs. She's been such a trooper through all the suctioning, wiping, temp taking & coughing. Watching your baby suffer through junk throws a whole new spin on parenting! Crazy.

Ah...Texas soil

2009-04-01T20:50:00.000-07:00

Lex & I have been in Missouri for 7 days. We got back late last night after a LONG day of driving, flying & caring for a sickly Annerson Grace. We had a wonderful time with our beloved family. But as always, it's good to be home & back in Texas!

I'm off to bed b/c we're going to the Dr. bright and early in the a.m. Just wanted to say hello!

It's Tough Being a Woman

2009-03-22T13:46:00.000-07:00

Emotions overcome me as I try to sort out what I have been learning the past 9 weeks through Beth Moore's Esther study.

The theme of the study is "It's Tough Being a Woman". I now realize just how true this is. For me, its tough because I make it tough. The world makes it tough. We make it tough on each other. All for the purpose of us searching out the God who created us just the way we are to accomplish for Him just what He desires to accomplish. Not that He needs us by any means. But that we are chosen to be a blessed part in what He is doing around us. Part of that blessing is that we, I, get to examine myself and measure myself up to the Word of God. NOT measure myself up to you. I'm learning to view myself more and more through God's eyes, not yours or even my own. Let truth set in. Let is take shape. Let it put to death what needs to die & bring to life what needs resurrecting. How sweet it is when you let God do this in your heart. No putting up a fight. No looking for loopholes. Just pure repentance followed by submission.

How many times have I wondered if God is really there. Those times when He's silent, when things aren't going as planned, or when hurt swallows me whole 10 times. I realize during those times how much of a condition I put on my trust in God. As long as He's following through I'll bring Him praise. As long as I'm taken care of as I think I should be I'll look Heavenward. This study has taken that secret little sinful theory of mine and flushed it. I love it when I realize super deep sin in my heart and in what seems like the same moment I realize it God swoops in and frees me from it. Has that ever happened to you? No time to dwell, to feel like crap, just let it go & move on to that next level of spiritual maturity in Christ.

How crazy is it that God is never once mentioned in the book of Esther. Hmmm...seems odd, seems man centered even. But He is ALL over that book. No doubt. You can barely get through 2 verses without being like "Look what He's doing! This ties to this and that refers back to that other book in the OT." Not to mention that the whole book of Esther is one big reversal of destiny (wink wink fellow study peeps) like the uh...BIBLE!!!! Love it.

Overwhelmed by it. Bathed in the truth of it. Freed by His grace.

I would go on and on but I know this probably isn't making sense as is so I'll spare you more confusion. If you've done the study you probably know what I'm talking about. Or maybe not. Ha!

Just know that my heart desires for you to study the Word, whether it be this study or another. Of course I think every woman should do this particular Beth Moore study. It will change your life if you let it. The book of Esther will show you why even though it's tough being a woman, our God gives us hope & deliverance from all things that war against us.

I leave you with a few other things I learned

Faith is putting God in every fill in the blank.
I cannot amputate my history from my destiny.
God says to never forget what "I dragged you out of."
Mean girls try to get other women's men's (is that right?) attention by dressing provocatively. Keep your breasts to yourself (and your husband if you have one).
I have to learn to identify the threat when I start to feel something rise up in me that I know is not right.
Destiny involves transparency. It was for them, so what good is it if they can't see it. How stinkin true is that.
I want someone to take care of me. I want someone to love me.
God often uses crisis to pivot our focus and change our destiny.
"What if" really means, "What I Fear"
I can protect myself right out of my calling.
We'll never fulfill our destiny as long as we straddle the fence.
To nurse a grudge towards someone holds us to that person-entangles us to bondage.
Any kind of wait seems like an enormous inconvenience in this culture.
You can't live your life as if no one is watching.
The enemy makes us think we are the center of attention. Nothing drives Satan more than pride.
There are people in our lives that we want so desperately to know Jesus-to be in the King's presence.
Why do we say in regards to our fav sports team, "We are undefeated." and then change the "we" to "they" when we say, "They lost last night." We're such moochers!
God will not give us strength to fight things that we have imagined. He wants us to be free from fears, not have strength to make things up!
One reason we remain in bondage is b/c we keep our secrets to ourselves. Big battles are won by teams not individuals.
Don't grow cold.
Getting the credit is the wrong reason to do the right thing .
When all history is written, the only tales left standing will be those He set.

And lastly, a Beth Moore quote (pg. 221 of Esther study guide)

"By faith alone, to her face she will fall...then to her feet she will rise, ready to do what deliverance demands. Then the Rabbi will quote her resolve: "And if I perish, I perish" and the crowd will stand and cheer! For what if she does perish? Is that the worst his world's wicked Haman can threaten? On the day that she does, this is what will happen: She will put on her royal robes and stand in the inner court of the palace, in front of the King's hall. The King will be sitting on his royal throne in the hall, facing the entrance. When he sees his queen standing in the court, he will be pleased with her and hold out to her the gold scepter that is in his hand (adaptation of Esth. 5: 1-2). And she will approach.

And cast her crown at His feet.

55:9-11, Isaiah

2009-03-19T11:30:00.000-07:00

As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts. As the rain and the snow come down from heaven, and do not return to it without watering the earth and making it bud and flourish, so that it yields seed for the sower and bread for the eater, so is my word that goes out from my mouth: IT WILL NOT RETURN TO ME EMPTY, BUT WILL ACCOMPLISH WHAT I DESIRE AND ACHIEVE THE PURPOSE FOR WHICH I SENT IT.

I love that God doesn't depend on us to get the job done. We are part of the process yes, but He'll accomplish His purposes even when we drop the ball! Love it.

Big Joys Come in Small Packages

2009-03-17T18:04:00.000-07:00

Annerson had a busy day. She is SUCH a joy.

sitting on her own

not falling over!

so proud of herself

tasted sweet potatoes for the 1st time

looked like a boy in public

thanks Dad

Austin trip pics

2009-03-15T13:58:00.000-07:00

1st stop: CHEESECAKE FACTORY!

Babies aren't the only ones who get gas smiles.

That's better

Aunt Pat, Andie, Uncle Mason & Annerson

IPhone jam session

Gandy & Gramey

big Anners & little Anners

The Royal family

(really Mason?)

Gandy & Anners at JP's Bed & Breakfast

My dad's crippled dog Darcy

"Look Mom! I can read!"

No slowing it down

2009-03-09T12:30:00.000-07:00

The last 6 months of life has truly been like a completely different life for us. Becoming parents is a big adjustment, bigger than graduating and entering the real world or getting married even. Every step of the journey has been beautiful and amazing. God's hand is all over our life. We see Him moving in the big events as well as day to day life. He continues to amaze me with His sovereignty and love.

Annerson turned 6 months end of February. I wasn't really sure when that was exactly since she was born on the 31st and Feb. had 28 days. So I just say "end of Feb."! I can't believe she's already half way to her 1 year birthday, but then again I can. Over and over again I hear how fast it all goes by, how she'll be in kinder before we know it, etc. etc. Instead of dwelling on this I'm embracing it. Of course she's going to grow. We're trying hard to really savor every milestone, every first, every new emotion we experience as parents, but also savor the sweetness of getting to watch her grow & change. She has changed & developed so much from the first day we brought her home from the hospital.

Look at that hair! It was really dark and thick with gold highlights for the 1st 6 weeks or so. Then it started thinning out and lightening up. Now it's getting thicker again, but it's really

light and almost strawberry blonde. I want her dark hair to come back, but I'm not going to freak out if it doesn't. I'll just dye it. j/k

She had a great 6 month checkup last week. Her immunizations are going great & she's growing & developing.

Here are some of her favorite things to do now.

Suck on her toes

Laugh at silly faces & noises

pose for the camera

be held by mommy & daddy

Eat rice cereal

NOT eat green peas (she tried them today)

Sleep an average of 10 hours at night

Take 3 naps a day

be outside

rub her eyes when she's sleepy

SMILE all the time

cuddle

grab toys, hair & all things in sight

roll over both ways

She's such a sweet spirited baby. She's happy most of the time unless she's in the car. Usually she isn't a fan of her car seat, but she's getting more used to it and crying less while riding around.

Started out propped up

then she fell

She didn't seem to mind so I took like 10 more pics

while she just leaned on the pillow and looked cute!

We were given a gift certificate for a baby massage class with Betty Sullivan. Betty came to our house 5 weeks in a row and taught us how to do infant massage. Annerson loves it! Infant massage is really good for babies' circulation, bonding, bowel movements, etc. Not to mention that Betty was nothing short of amazing. Annerson wants her to be her adopted grandmother. She is really sweet.

Annerson with Betty and baby Jen.

If you are interested the classes are only $45 total! The best part is that she comes to your home and works with your schedule each week to find a 1 hour window for the appointment. It's so easy and fun. It's definitely worth it. I highly recommend it for infants of all ages-newborns or older.

Her website

http://www.satinhandsmassage.com/infantmassage.html

Yummy toes

Can't get enough

Uh...got enough of that. Thanks.

HAPPY 6 MONTHS LITTLE BLESSING! WE LOVE YOU SO MUCH & LOVE WATCHING YOU GROW!

Road Trip

2009-03-05T21:29:00.000-08:00

We are headed for Austin tomorrow morning. Annerson has her 6 month appointment at 9:30 and then we hit the road.

If you think of us this weekend take that as prompting to pray. I'm always burdened in my Spirit when I go to Austin. Pray for boldness & that we would reflect Christ.

A NEW 9:30 BABY IS ON THE WAY

2009-03-02T09:06:00.000-08:00

12 week old peanut

It's not mine!!

Don't be crazy!

IT'S BETH DALLAS!! And my dear friends, Beth has finally decided to join us in Blogland. Hallelujah Jesus!!

That darn Proverbs

2009-02-28T09:16:00.000-08:00

I came across Proverbs 26: 27 this morning as I was doing my AWESOME Esther study.

"If a man digs a pit, he will fall into it; If a man rolls a stone, it will roll back on him."

Falling into a pit. Getting rolled over by a stone. Yep. That pretty much describes me. But this book of wisdom says that I'm not only the victim when this happens, but my own arch rival! You mean I set myself up for pits? You mean I can't shift the blame? I can't make excuses? This stinks. Didn't Eve teach us how to do this in the Garden? Excuse me, but I think it's all her fault. Ok, maybe not.

I was talking to Tara earlier and she reminded me that we never realize we're getting ourselves into messes until after the fact. I picture myself holding this hot pink shovel fully equipped with rhinestones and all things sparkly. The tool is pretty. I give God a glance, a quick thought, and start working. The task at hand isn't sin in itself, in fact, it's moral and what I think God would want me to do. Before I know it, I'm sitting in this not so obvious pit I've dug around me wondering why God isn't blessing my efforts or sometimes it's more like, "how in the world did I end up here?" As I vigorously dig, I find myself getting deeper and deeper, searching for a glimpse of God amongst the dirt & worms, crying out to Him to rescue me from the pit.

Proverbs 2:7 offers me hope

"He holds victory in store for the upright, he is a shield to those whose walk is blameless, for he guards the course of the just and protects the way of his faithful ones."

So here's my resolve: that I would focused on Him and gain the victory of life and heavenly joy & abundance.

I don't want to focus on what He wants me to do, where He wants me to go or who He wants me to be. I want to focus on Him. Only then will I end up doing what He wants me to do, go where He wants me to go & be who He wants me to be.

Then maybe I won't fall into those pits I will inevitably dig and will side step those gianormous stones that keep rolling back to me like a determined boom-a-rang with Satan's face on it.

Don't you just love Proverbs? It's like a big fat mirror that you just can't escape.

Thursday thoughts

2009-02-26T09:34:00.000-08:00

I'm thinking I have spring fever because all I want to do is organize my entire house and clean! Wait...I want to do this all the time...but especially today!

Here's some cuteness for Aunt Stef

About to get in the tub

Excuse me while I take this very important call

Look at you!

I love getting my diaper changed

in the back seat of the car

I love my Gramey!

Are you part of a healthy church?

2009-02-24T11:15:00.000-08:00

I just listened to Matt Chandler's sermon titled "Members" twice. It's good.

A few of the many things I took away from this sermon:

Healthy places take holiness seriously.

A healthy church is a church filled with men & women who genuinely love one another and genuinely love participating with one another in Biblical community...doing life together.

A healthy church is a church that's filled with men and women who at the end of the day see Scripture as the final authority on all things.

A healthy church is an open-handed community....what's the opposite...a catering to capitalism:

The church exists to give ME a pleasant experience.

So I want it to be easy to get into.

I want to walk in to a latte. BAM! Thank you! Mocha, pop, shot of it in there!

I want to sit down on a chair that vibrates.

I want the music to be poppy.

I would like some fog and a laser to draw a picture of a cross while you sing and I listen comfortably from my chair.

Then I'd like a message anywhere from 20-22 minutes.

Don't make me feel uncomfortable about my life. Make me feel good. IN FACT, LET'S NOT EVEN TALK ABOUT JESUS! Let's just reference something that we all have issue with. So let's talk about the fact that we're in a recession and we need to walk together and encourage one another through that recession. BUT DON'T TALK ABOUT SIN. DON'T TALK ABOUT THE CROSS. DON'T TALK ABOUT ANYTHING WHERE I MIGHT ACTUALLY HAVE TO REPENT AND CONFESS AND DO BUSINESS WITH THE DEEP LEVELS OF MY HEART.

AND THEN dismiss in a timely matter. Get me out to my car and get me home. After you retina scan me and launch my kid down the slide. I'd like my children to have face paint on, a new t-shirt and for Sponge Bob Square Pants to have actually taught my kids how not to lie to me and to obey me.

Listen to sermon here!!!!

MOOving On

2009-02-19T11:13:00.000-08:00

Sorry for the delay in Mama's update. My sister Alexis stayed with us all of last week. We had a great time with her. She's doing really really well now.

Anyways, I'm sure you were all on the edge of your seats in anticipation. WILL SHE PULL THROUGH OR NOT???

NOT.

She actually died last Saturday night after my last post. Since it was the weekend, she had to lay there all day Sunday and half of Monday. Finally, a large...I mean LARGE...truck pulled up next to the cow pin where she was. My curious mind compelled me to go outside and watch. What was I thinking? I mean, it couldn't be pretty. I guess I hoped for some type of sweet final departure.

The guy, we'll call him Phillip, got out of the truck.

ME: Hello. You have a dirty job, huh?

PHILILP: (grins): It has it perks!

ME: Uh...was that a joke or are you just a creeper? Maybe it does take a creeper perp to do what you are about to do day after day (Ok ok, so I thought this. I would never say that). Then again, maybe he's just trying to provide for his family and he's just thankful for a paycheck. Maybe that's what he meant by "perks". I don't know.

ME outloud this time: So do you need help? (volunteering Lex to help move the dead 14,000 pound cow, here I go again with my dumb questions)

PHILLIP: No, I can do it.

ME: You can lift her all by yourself?!

PHILLIP: Oh, I don't have to lift her.

Then he opens the back of the truck and much to my shock and disbelief I see a mound of dead horses and cows. We're talking like at least 20. I couldn't believe what I was seeing. So much for a sweet departure, right?

Then Phillip puts a chain around Mama's neck and flips the switch. She gets dragged up a ramp where she is united with the other poor little deadies.

Bye bye Mama.

Then Allen comes out (cow owner) and he and Phillip discuss putting the service on a credit card. How can you think of money at a time like this? I was still in major shock from what I just witnessed.

The next day the other 4 cows are back in the big pen where Mama cow was. I think they were wondering what happened to her though. And I know poor little baby cow was wanting its mother.

Mama's last Valentine's Day

2009-02-14T18:57:00.000-08:00

You aren't going to believe this but Mama is still alive! She made it through the night and all day today. When I woke up I looked out the window and thought for sure she was dead. I had a crazy dream that one of the other cows came over to lay on top of her to keep her warm.

Tara & Emily came over today so I took them over there to see her. We were standing there telling her goodbye when all of a sudden we heard groaning. I got so excited when I realized it was her! You could barely see her sides rise when she took a breath. As of 7pm tonight she was still breathing. I was going to post some pics but Tara told me that was morbid.

At dinner tonight we prayed that she would pass soon so she won't have to suffer anymore. We also prayed for Allen. That's a big animal to lose. Not that size has any bearing on emotional attachment.

I cooked a special Valentine's dinner for Mikah and Abbi. They are Lex's nieces that live with his parents. They actually have custody of them now. Lex's sister lives in Florida and has very little to do with them. They've been through so much.

It was a nice night. Lex had to work so it was just the four of us girls. I created a masterpiece table setting & delicious Italian dinner. P.S. ANNERSON ROLLED OVER FOR THE FIRST TIME BACK TO FRONT!

This was right after she rolled over. She couldn't figure out how to get her arm out from under her. She was so proud of herself though :)

Thanks Tara and Emily for helping with the brownies. Also, thanks for "spell checking" my menu. Even though we didn't catch one word until it was TOO LATE! They didn't notice though.

His banner over me is love!!!!

2009-02-14T10:52:00.000-08:00

How great is the love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God!

1 John 3: 1

There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment.

1 John 4: 18

He has taken me to the banquet hall, and HIS BANNER OVER ME IS LOVE.

SofS 2:4

I have some amazing valentines this year, but Christ is by far the sweetest.

MY VALENTINE TO YOU IS THESE YUMMY VIRTUAL HEART PANCAKES

ORIGINAL

BLUEBERRY

CHOCOLATE CHIP

Enjoy!!!

HAVE A GREAT LOVE DAY!

Update on Mama Cow to come

THE LAST MOO

2009-02-13T20:32:00.000-08:00

I have another cow story. But this one is really sad.

I have decided that I like the moos that live 20 feet away from our house. Here's why:

Today I was minding my own business when my mother-in-law called me to tell me that Allen (crazy neighbor) was in the cow pen with "the big cow". Yes, we have made up names for the cows. Apparently "the big cow" wasn't moving much & Allen was bent down with her.

Out of pure optimism, we assume that she is in labor. Awwww...a new little calf. She had one not too long ago so why not another one?

So I go over to take pictures...because STEFFANY got onto me for never documenting my cow run-ins...so I run over there to get the perfect before baby and after baby shot. Um...she doesn't look so good. Her tummy was really big though. Hmm. Why do her eyes look like that? Weird. She's breathing! Ok, this is all natural. Part of the labor process.

Why not? Looks like a cow in labor.

Poor Mama, she doesn't look so good.

Up close...definitely not looking good.

So then I come back in the house (Marcie is now at the house entertaining Anners while I am playing photo journalist) and google "What does a cow in labor look like?". Meanwhile, Marcie calls her friend who owns cows to consult with her. In conclusion, we decide to go back over and look at her "utter area" if you will to see if it is swollen. It wasn't.

Later on...I go over there with Mikah to see how she is doing. Allen comes out.

As he's walking over he's saying, "Is she dead? Is she dead?"

Me: "NO! NO! Is she ok? What's wrong?"

Allen: "She's not gonna make it."

He kneels down beside her and starts stroking her face. I mean, he's like really shook up. His eyes get read and wipes a tear. He said the vet came out and gave her some sugar water. She ate her "high end" alfalfa he bought her. They hoped she'd regain her strength but she never did. The vet determined that she was old and the newest calf had literally sucked all the life out of her by nursing so long.

So now we wait for poor Mama (that's her real name) to die. I feel so sad. I went from super excited about new life to super sad about no life. Have you ever watched an animal suffer? It was awful.

I asked Allen if she needed a blanket. What the crap kind of question is that?!!

"Uh, your cow is really suffering and won't make it through the night...do you think she wants a blanket?" I didn't know what to say! How do you comfort a dying cows' owner? I just felt so bad for her. She looked so miserable.

He also told me that she weighed 1,400 pounds so they were going to have to come haul her off once she died because he wouldn't be able to do it himself. Should I have offered Lex's help? I don't know!!!

So moral of the story is...love your cow neighbors. Treat them well. Let them roam around your yard. Because you never know when it'll be the last time they do.

The last time they moo.

Sniffle.

Really?

2009-02-13T08:28:00.001-08:00

I just spent over an hour reading blogs! I looked up at the clock and before I knew it an hour had passed. Really?

How much time will I spend reading God's Word today? No offense people, but it's a lot more interesting, applicable & good for my soul than Blogland.

So if you are checking all your fav blog updates right now and you haven't spent time with the Lord today, just you and Him that is, stop reading blogs & go do it! You do have time if you are reading this blog right now. Come on...He's waiting!!!

Moo

2009-02-09T16:41:00.000-08:00

Today has been one of those days where you don't have a worry on your mind. It's been a while since I felt that way. It's so nice. Annerson and I have hung out, mostly doing nothing. We just spent 45 minutes playing on the floor in her room. I accidentally caught her rolling over on video. I had no idea she was going to do it and then all of a sudden (as I'm watching through the camera mind you) I see her roll from tummy to back. She hadn't done that in a while. It was fun.

I did manage to leave the house 1x today. I drove Mikah & Abbi to Starbucks. I always enjoy my time with our nieces. For some reason they think I'm really funny. I think they are in on a conspiracy with Annerson to laugh at my jokes and silly faces. I don't mind.

Oh! I had a cow adventure today. Yes...them cows are at it again. On the way back from the mailbox Annerson and I look up and sure enough, there is a cow about 15 feet from the front door. I don't know how I didn't see it when we walked out of the house. I slowly walk past it and go inside b/c it's probably going to charge at us (what?) & I have to protect Anner. Once I'm safe inside I realize that cows don't charge (or do they?) and decide I needed to document the friendly neighbor for the blog. Not 5 seconds later do I open the door back up to snap the pic & the crazy neighbor starts yelling "Get over here!" Then he starts herding the cow back into the pen & that was the end of my potentially amazing post w/ cow pic. Annerson & I watched from the bedroom window. It was pretty entertaining to watch this guy try to get the cow back in the pen by himself.

Isn't it funny how Satan really wants you to worry. I said earlier that it was a worry free day. But that's only because I chose that mindset. I could have worried about a lot of things that came into my mind. But it's nice to dismiss them & enjoy reality...that God is in control, not me.

National Geographic Picture of the Year 2003-2007

2009-02-06T17:39:00.000-08:00

Do you know anything about any of these pics?

Who, what, when, where...that sort of thing.

In a few days I'll explain each pic.

Just leave a comment on any of the pics you want to try to explain. Good luck!

#10

#11

Spoon in my mouth

2009-02-05T11:19:00.000-08:00

Annerson ate cereal for the 1st time on Wednesday! It went so well. She didn't know what think. The entire time she had this "Are you guys sure about this?" look on her face. It was awesome.

I ended up buying Earth's Best rice cereal. I fed her shortly after her 2nd feeding. I think the best part was seeing her sit in her highchair for the 1st time. She looked so tiny.

She kept sucking on the tray!

Telling Daddy all about the yummy cereal!

Daddy tasting the yummy cereal

Olly felt really left out. He was in the kitchen pouting.

Annerson wanted to include Olly in her fun, but he wouldn't have it.

Thank you everyone who posted comments full of WOWs (words of wisdom). I really appreciate it. It's just nice to learn from each other !