Thursday, July 29, 2010

Why I stopped blogging

Disclaimer: The below statements are not blanket statements directed toward all bloggers. They are what I have experienced periodically throughout my blogging lifetime & describe why I have stopped blogging. If I feel that the following would cease to occur, I will resume blogging again. Until then, here is why I have stopped.

1.) It is addicting. I spent way too much time in blogland. Time that should have been spent down on the floor playing with Annerson, getting ready for bed so I could have some time in the Word & in prayer, or serving my family via laundry, cleaning, cooking, etc. I could easily justify spending over an hour a day looking into the lives of other people, all the while missing out on my own life experiences. Claiming I didn't have time to do this or that. Really? Yet, you were on your computer last night from 9:15-11:00pm Leah? Hm.

2.) I found my relationships off balance. I was spending more time cultivating online relationships through meaningless "comments" instead of picking up the phone and actually calling a friend to catch up...I know, it's a strange concept these days. I thought I was super connected to so many people all at once, when really I wasn't connected to anyone at all. I used it as a substitute.

3.) I craved comments. I placed self-worth in whether or not people commented on my posts. I threw mini self pity parties when the comments didn't roll in after what I thought was a comment worthy post. My worth does not come from whether or not I impress so and so enough to spur them on to leave a comment. My self worth is in Christ. I'd check my email the morning after I posted just to see if anyone commented.

4.) I found myself "staging" if you will, for the sake of a good post. I don't know exactly how to explain this other than I always had "Would this be good post material" in the back of my mind.

5.) I stressed out if I hadn't posted in a while. This was a death trap for me. I'd seriously get more stressed about not posting in a couple of days than I would about not getting filled up on the Spirit by spending time with the Lord. This was a huge red flag to me that blogland wasn't for me.

6.) It fed my ego. Whether it was a post about me or someone else, I wanted people to want to read "MY BLOG" for a reason. That reason

It didn't start out this way. Only in the past year or so did I start experiencing these things. These things just slowly crept in. I couldn't put my finger on it for a long time. It was only when I stopped blogging during my pregnancy with Lincoln that I stepped out of the burning building long enough to actually see the fire. It wasn't even to the point that I was "obsessed" with blogging by any means, but I know that I don't have to be that far gone to be in Satan's foothold. Maybe you know exactly what I'm talking about or maybe you haven't a clue how or why I feel like this. Either way, we all areas where we are weak. This is one of my mine. Now that I know that, I have to flee. The devil prowls like a roaring lion. So I run the other way.

What it boils down to is that I had made an idol out of my blog. I'm reminded of the Ross King song titled, "Clear the Stage"

"Anything I put before my God IS AN IDOL.
Anything I want with all my heart IS AN IDOL.
Anything I can't stop thinking of IS AN IDOL.
Anything that I give all my love IS AN IDOL.

We must not worship something that's not even worth it.
Clear the stage.
Make some space.
For the One who deserves it."

"Everything is permissible for me, but not everything is beneficial. Everything is permissible for me-but I will not be mastered by anything. "
1 corinthians 6:12

Here's to clearing the stage & making some space...


Mandy said...

so true! I feel this way about so many online's easy to get caught up in it and for it to become a normal thing to check fb, twitter, etc several times a day...ugh it's such a time waster for me sometimes....and it seems like a default..."well, I don't know what to do/I don't want to do such and such, so I will just get on the computer and check whatever". Thanks for the post & the honesty

Brie said...

Thanks for this post (not to feed your struggles) but I think we all need to hear this and evaluate where we are. Way to go!

Lex said...

I love you sweet wife of mine. No one I know desires for the Lord more than you. Thank you for fleeing with all your might. Your husband.

Anonymous said...

you are awesome. i feel the same. email me your # so we can talk like real people. :)

Claire said...

Very wise words!


A.MICHELE.C said...

I love this!! You are absolutely right!! I should be doing something else right now, but I'm so glad I read this!! Thanks for posting!!

The Blowey Bunch said...

I am not sure how i came to your blog, ironic its the day you "stopped" but I am glad you posted what you did, it's good to see some transparency and truth in the REAL reason we write, is it for us? others? the Lord? makes me want to do it right! thanks girl! and so happy your family is growing and doing well!

wilbur said...

it was so random and i m not sure how i gotmyself reading in to your blog, but im glad i did..
thank you for sharing..

Teresa said...

Wow, just stumbled upon your blog by hitting the "next page" button. I hope you don't get this comment, since you have vowed to take a blogger break. I just wanted to let you know that you are not alone and that I posted something very similar just last week, only I was talking about my facebook. That was my "idol" so it had to go. Stay strong and God Bless!

Dreamer said...

This is such an "honest-with-yourself" post. Your points were true for me. Thank you for confirming my own doubts about why I blog (on a different blogsite). We had a "meeting of bloggers" which was great because then some of those people can become 'real' friends. Good luck :-)

Mr Bojangles said...

umm.. well, usually writing helps emoting. in letting out thoughts and feelings that were repressed. so do continue writing. by all means. but don't do it for attention. the two are different. and you'll notice that it doesn't take that much of your time after all!

Anonymous said...

whoa! I'm glad I came across this post. I guess God wanted me to check myself for I wrecked myself ;). It is addicting. Good word...and has all been noted (looks up). God first.

Elisha said...

I completely understand this. Good for you! Spend time with your beautiful family :)