By Tuesday afternoon Satan was laying it on thick.
By Tuesday night I had overcome his guilt & self pity tactics with the peace of God.
There was a spiritual battle going on above me over this one. First off, I felt horrible for causing this sweet innocent lady the headache of having to get her car fixed. For all I know she could have been parked at Target because she was having an awful period and went in to buy Midol & tampons and then out she comes to drive away with her goods only to discover that some not so careful driver hit her bumper when pulling into the spot behind her. I mean, who does that really? So that was the biggest guilt of all. She didn't ask for me to damage her car & now she has to spend time & resources getting it back to how it was before it met me.
Of course there's the fear of insurance going up and the how much is this going to cost us scenarios that started to play out in my mind.
But I didn't let it. God really showed me something. He showed me that I could have peace as I dealt with the consequences of what happened. First off, not once did I cry. Accomplishment these days.
I immediately began fighting the urges to get all frantic and worked up with rational thinking & truth.
There are bigger tragedies occurring right now than a scratched bumper.
This is why people have insurance.
Be a witness for Christ to this woman by showing her OF COURSE I'LL LEAVE A NOTE W/ MY NAME & PHONE NUMBER on a Subway napkin because as easy as it would be to drive away without her ever knowing, 1.) God knows 2.) If he can't trust me with the small things then He'll never trust me to handle the big eternity changing things & 3.) I have to take responsibility for my actions...she didn't ask for a scratched bumper, I just offered it (this lady actually THANKED ME for leaving my contact information & wasn't mad at all because of how grateful she was I didn't just hit & run like the last car that hit her. That's so sad that integrity is so far & few between)
So praise God for small victories that have huge impacts. God's power is real and it's meant to be used in huge life crisis moments as well as small yucky day to day moments like this one. He desires to bring truth to the innermost parts of our lives and not just the overarching umbrella situations.
Our insurance agent, the Kory Johnson, called me today and told me it would be around $300 out of pocket to fix her bumper. I didn't even cringe. I actually said with enthusiasm, "I'LL TAKE IT!", knowing that this lady was doing me a favor by not filing a claim with my insurance. God is good isn't He? I'm not saying that I don't care if I get in car accidents because money will fix it. That's not it at all. I'm saying that with the proper perspective a little accident can stay just that...little.
Of course now I'm scared to death of parking lots & definitely did park on the last row by curb & tree only yesterday at the grocery store. :)
One more thing: I learned at Bible study on Tuesday that God didn't say He'd give peace like a pond but peace like a river. Think about the difference in a pond and a river. One is calm and serene. The other is constantly moving, changing, flowing, anything but controlled or protected like a pond is. He offers His peace in river, the middle of the storm, the craziness of life.