Matt Chandler's brain surgery began 15 minutes ago. He is having a brain tumor removed from his frontal lobe that was discovered late last week. Please lift him up in prayer right now.
Matt is the pastor of The Village Church in Dallas. Lex & I have enjoyed deeply his teaching for the last 5+ years via his podcast. We have many close friends who belong to the family at The Village Church. We are stirred to get on our knees for this congregation, his friends & family, and for our dear brother in Christ.
To our friends who personally know the Chandlers-we are praying that your hearts & minds would be turned to Christ & the truth of His sufficient grace would penetrate the marrow of your bones. I pray that you would be faithful in your words to one another & prayers for Matt and the family during this time....may they all reflect the beauty of the cross.
To Lauren-As a wife and mother myself I am encouraged by the peace & joy you have demonstrated as you watch your husband go through this. I am praying against fear in your family. Praying for the Spirit to draw you so near to one another that Satan's forces cannot begin to penetrate the walls of truth & light surrounding your home.
To Matt-As always, you encourage us by pointing us to what this life is about. Your words this morning are more than comforting to those in the Body who are battling alongside with you at this very moment. Praying for precise surgeons & brilliant doctors. Mostly, we pray that you & all those involved would witness the glory of God in these tender moments of surgery & recovery.
Here is a link to a blog post he posted this morning before his surgery.
We arrived 45 minutes before the theater opened to find an empty parking lot.
No one else in Irving, Texas was as eager as Lex & I (by Lex & I,I mean me!) were Friday morning. I guess all the real fans saw it at midnight. We didn't want to hang out in the car for 45 mins. so we ran to Barnes & Nobles to kill some time.
I bought tickets almost exactly 1 month before opening day
2 hours later...we left the theater again...still had plenty of time to kill
& no line to wait in.
I invited Lindsey to come see the movie with us.
I'm still trying to make up time with Linds. after 2 years of not seeing her!
I brought my Official Illustrated Movie Companion to read
while we waited.....and waited....and waited :)
And yes, I'm wearing a New Moon t-shirt.
Gotta go all out for these things.
New baby Moon
After we watched the movie & loved it we went to the hospital. There we got to celebrate the real New Moon, Mr. Liam Moon. A sweet baby boy born on Thursday at 2:08. This 6lb.14 oz. bundle of joy couldn't have come at a more perfect time.
He was born on our anniversary & Laura called me as we were driving to Dallas to say he'd arrived. So that meant we'd get to see them in the hospital!
Congrats Laura & Allen!
Liam, I'm so glad that we got to meet you!!!! You are adorable!
Lex & I just got back from a weekend anniversary celebration. We celebrated 4 years last Thursday!!!!! We went to Dallas & stayed at the Omni Mandalay hotel in Las Colinas. And by we I mean no Annerson. She stayed in Lubbock with Meems & Potsy (Lex's parents). She did great. We did great. It was definitely hard being away from her. We missed her every day but enjoyed the break and chance to focus on each other. It had been almost 15 months since it had been just the 2 of us so we were way overdue for a weekend alone. We got back late last night & went straight to Annerson's bedroom to gaze upon her cute little sleeping body. I feel like she's grown just in the 3 days we were gone. Crazy!
I'll get some pics from our weekend up later. I still have to unpack, do laundry, and all that fun post trip stuff.
Oh my goodness! We just got pictures back that we had made in October. To say that I am happy with the way these pics turned out is a HUGE understatement. They were supposed to be Annerson's 1 year pics but we kinda turned them into one big family shoot instead. All 3 of us were trying to get over a cold & felt pretty yucky that day so I was very unsure how these pics would turn out. Knowing Lezlie, I'm not sure why I was at all worried :)
Lezlie you did an amazing job. We had a blast with you as usual. I couldn't be happier with the pictures.
I can only post this one on my blog, but click here to see some more of them
Lezlie will be coming to Lubbock to shoot maternity pictures for us sometime at the beginning of the 2010. If you are interested in hiring her let me know and we can set up a time where she can do your session when she's in town for ours. She's amazing as you can see. Check out her website for more information.
Everyone in this house (except Lex) is getting bigger. I'm 17.5 weeks along in pregnancy #2 and finally feeling able to really enjoy the excitement of it all. Baby is getting bigger therefore I am getting bigger. Annerson is definitely getting bigger. She has turned into a cutie pie toddler. She is talking up a storm and exploring her boundaries left and right. Even our cat is bigger because of all his crazy fur he's storing up for the winter!
BY THE WAY
I have a few prayer requests I need to post about.
Please keep praying for John Means. He's a former 9:30 student who is fighting very serious lymphoma.
Keep my sister-in-law Steffany in your prayers. She is still struggling to get healthy from pericarditis. You can read the latest update & leave her words of encouragement on her blog.
Lastly, Joel's best friend Paul Gartland died unexpectedly yesterday. He most likely had a heart attack in his sleep. Please pray for God's hand to move among those involved. Please pray for Joel, my pseudo dad, who just lost his best friend in the world & that the Lord will draw him near to the grace & peace of the cross through this. Lex & I will be traveling to Austin this weekend once funeral details are in order. Sorry, no link for Joel BUT you can leave words of encouragement or prayers on my blog & I'll be sure to pass them onto Joel.
A guy that Lex and I went to college with has anaplastic large cell lymphoma. John is one of those people that can make your stomach ache from laughing within 5 minutes of being around him. He's awesome.
As I read through the journal entries on his website today I am reminded of a few things:
God's will through any circumstance is to bring us closer to Him
He is more concerned with timing than with time
There is joy in pain & suffering when your hope is in the risen Christ
Here is his website. You can send him some encouragement by signing the guestbook.
Ok, this post is not so all caps. I apologize for that display of emotion. Wait, no I don't. I didn't do or say anything wrong through that emotion. Did I? My Steffany always laughs at me for keeping my cool all the time so that one was for her. :)
I will report that Annerson fell asleep shortly after I posted in the wee hours of the morning & the Raisin Bran had a most purposeful affect on me as well. Never underestimate the power of 2 scoops!!
One more thing...when I said that enemas are a lot of work I want to clarify that I was talking about what your body goes through after you have one. It's one of those things that makes you feel better only after several minutes of feeling a lot worse. So sorry if that offended anyone or you thought I was talking about something else. That's what I meant by that.
ANNERSON HAS BEEN THROWING A "COME ROCK ME BACK TO SLEEP" FIT FOR OVER AN HOUR. SCREAMING HER HEAD OFF. I CAN'T BELIEVE SHE HAS ENOUGH ENERGY AFTER AN HOUR OF CRYING TO KEEP GOING. WE'VE GONE IN THERE 3 TIMES NOW. PATTED HER BACK, PICKED HER UP, GOTTEN HER SO CLOSE TO SLEEP & THEN AS SOON AS WE WALK OUT...WAAAHH.
IT'S SO RIDICULOUS. LEX & I HAVE BOTH GOTTEN REALLY BAD AT PUTTING HER TO SLEEP INSTEAD OF LETTING HER PUT HERSELF TO SLEEP & IT'S BITING US IN THE BUTT AT THIS VERY MOMENT. 4:23 AM IN THE MORNING.
ON TOP OF ALL THAT I AM EATING A BOWL OF RAISIN BRAN W/ BANANAS B/C I AM SO STINKIN CONSTIPATED THAT I COULDN'T GO TO BED EVEN IF SHE WASN'T SCREAMING HER HEAD OFF. I NEVER EAT DURING THE NIGHT BUT I CAN'T HANDLE ANOTHER ENEMA RIGHT NOW. IF YOU'VE EVER HAD ONE YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN. THEY REQUIRE WORK TO SAY THE LEAST. SO MAYBE THIS WILL HELP.
I THINK SHE'S SLOWING DOWN. WOW. THE MOST SHE'S EVER CRIED IS LIKE MAYBE 15 MINUTES.
A few weekends ago Lex & I drove to Dallas. The purpose was reunion with one of my best friends Lindsey McDaniel.
Lindsey has spent the last 2 years in Prague. She went as a journeyman with the International Mission Board. If you know Lindsey you know she has a heart of gold. A true disciple of Christ who longs to see His hand over every facet of her life. There is nothing she does that isn't covered in God's blessings & guidance. We got to see her for 24 hours last Christmas when she flew into Lubbock to meet Annerson. Besides that we have only written, emailed & occasionally SKYPED for a LONG 2 YEARS. It is so nice to have her back in the states where we can be in consistent contact with her.
Her plans now are to gain a master's degree in missions from Southwestern Seminary in Ft. Worth. She will then return overseas (to a warmer location than Prague!) to continue living out the great commission (Mt. 28:18-20).
Who's the boy you ask? His name is Adam.
He's Lindsey's neighbor and maybe more.
Lindsey, I'm just saying.
Her cutie seminary housing.
Her apartment is adorable.
Lex & Linds...oh the days when they were Challenge partners
and I stalked Lex through Lindsey!
LuLu & Anners
I'm so glad that Annerson can get to know
4 LONG YEARS...
4.5 years ago I graduated from Tech. I was living with Lindsey & a girl named Chavon Perry. Things in the apartment had gone sour to say the least. Looking back I'm still not sure what happened between us. Mostly it was Chavon & myself letting Satan make the worst of a sticky boy situation that Lex & I were kinda in the middle of. Lindsey didn't have a part in it really but she was indirectly affected by it all since she lived there. It was so dumb looking back. We were all immature about it because we let pride & hurt feelings get in between friendship. All to say, we both moved out without so much as exchanging a single word of goodbye & left the apartment and our friendship in the rearview.
We hadn't had contact with her since then until this past summer when she Facebooked us. I guess FB is good for something after all. I am absolutely sure that the Lord ordained this reunion at the most perfect time. I had just given birth to Annerson. My heart was softer than I'd ever known it to be. You know that feeling new moms? When Lex told me that she had sent us a message I leaped for joy & cried because I knew God was behind whatever it was she had to say.
Since then we have talked, apologized, laughed & healed.
Oh for healing.
We thought we had killed our friendship but there is a time to heal as Ecclesiastes says. This has been the sweetest healing because it has been absolutely the Lord in every way.
"Heal me, O Lord, and I will be healed;
save me and I will be saved, for you are the one I praise."
God wants to bring healing to areas of our life where we have sinned. This was definitely an area of known sin that I had been carrying around for years. I deeply regretted the way things turned out but didn't know what I could do about it.
I let myself sit in defeat.
Praise God that He desires victory and wouldn't let us settle for defeat.
When we visited Lindsey Lu we were able to arrange a dinner date between the 3 old roomies. This was the first time any of us had seen each other in over 4 years so it was a time of sweet reunion and healing. We all got to meet Chavon's husband Casey...AMAZING MAN. They've been married almost a year and a half now. Chavon got to meet our little Annerson, which was very special for me.
The night couldn't have been more meaningful for me & Lex.
we love him already
We had an amazing weekend as you can see. I did get to spend time with another dear friend of mine Laura. We actually stayed at her & her husband's home in Dallas. I don't know why I don't have pictures of them. I really wish I'd taken some. They are expecting their first baby in November.
Here is a pic of Laura's belly! She's absolutely tiny & precious!
Baby Boy Moon (their last name...NOT the baby's first name!)
And one more pic from the weekend.
Annerson's first official RED RAIDER GUNS UP!
(of course she accidentally purposefully did that)
By Tuesday afternoon Satan was laying it on thick.
By Tuesday night I had overcome his guilt & self pity tactics with the peace of God.
There was a spiritual battle going on above me over this one. First off, I felt horrible for causing this sweet innocent lady the headache of having to get her car fixed. For all I know she could have been parked at Target because she was having an awful period and went in to buy Midol & tampons and then out she comes to drive away with her goods only to discover that some not so careful driver hit her bumper when pulling into the spot behind her. I mean, who does that really? So that was the biggest guilt of all. She didn't ask for me to damage her car & now she has to spend time & resources getting it back to how it was before it met me.
Of course there's the fear of insurance going up and the how much is this going to cost us scenarios that started to play out in my mind.
But I didn't let it. God really showed me something. He showed me that I could have peace as I dealt with the consequences of what happened. First off, not once did I cry. Accomplishment these days.
I immediately began fighting the urges to get all frantic and worked up with rational thinking & truth.
There are bigger tragedies occurring right now than a scratched bumper.
This is why people have insurance.
Be a witness for Christ to this woman by showing her OF COURSE I'LL LEAVE A NOTE W/ MY NAME & PHONE NUMBER on a Subway napkin because as easy as it would be to drive away without her ever knowing, 1.) God knows 2.) If he can't trust me with the small things then He'll never trust me to handle the big eternity changing things & 3.) I have to take responsibility for my actions...she didn't ask for a scratched bumper, I just offered it (this lady actually THANKED ME for leaving my contact information & wasn't mad at all because of how grateful she was I didn't just hit & run like the last car that hit her. That's so sad that integrity is so far & few between)
So praise God for small victories that have huge impacts. God's power is real and it's meant to be used in huge life crisis moments as well as small yucky day to day moments like this one. He desires to bring truth to the innermost parts of our lives and not just the overarching umbrella situations.
Our insurance agent, the Kory Johnson, called me today and told me it would be around $300 out of pocket to fix her bumper. I didn't even cringe. I actually said with enthusiasm, "I'LL TAKE IT!", knowing that this lady was doing me a favor by not filing a claim with my insurance. God is good isn't He? I'm not saying that I don't care if I get in car accidents because money will fix it. That's not it at all. I'm saying that with the proper perspective a little accident can stay just that...little.
Of course now I'm scared to death of parking lots & definitely did park on the last row by curb & tree only yesterday at the grocery store. :)
One more thing: I learned at Bible study on Tuesday that God didn't say He'd give peace like a pond but peace like a river. Think about the difference in a pond and a river. One is calm and serene. The other is constantly moving, changing, flowing, anything but controlled or protected like a pond is. He offers His peace in river, the middle of the storm, the craziness of life.
I've always been hungry for knowledge, specifically truth from the Word. I am constantly enjoying the Bible, books about Jesus, sermons or anything that pours out wisdom & understanding into my heart & mind.
But God has been pressing me in a different way the past several months. It started this summer when I realized how lazy I had become in my pursuit of Christ. See I can't claim to be a Christian unless I know Christ. That's like me saying that I am part of the Obama family because I know who they are and support the President's efforts (I didn't vote for Obama in case you are wondering). Just because you know Jesus via growing up in the church or whatever, doesn't mean He knows you. That's a side note.
But I do want to clarify what I'm saying before I explain what God has been doing in my life. I hear a whole lot of talk about people being Christians but not a lot of people stick their neck out there these days and say, "I'm a disciple of Christ."
Look at Acts 11:26-"The disciples were called Christians first at Antioch." So which came first, the Christian or the disciple? It is evident to me that we have it backwards because we want to fall into the "Christian" category without having to wear the mark or discipline of an actual disciple of Christ. It's like the term disciple bears more responsibility than the sweet term Christian. I remember thinking that disciples were for the ultra God lovers, like a varsity team. Uh huh. Nope. The two are not separate groups. I am a Christian BECAUSE I am a disciple and if I am not a disciple than I am not a Christian.
The word disciple carries a lot of weight. This is what Jesus has been pressing on me so much lately. Like I said, it hit me this summer that I was neglecting several areas of spiritual growth. I wasn't memorizing scripture. I wasn't praying like I believed in prayer. I was reading my daily Bible but not studying it. And on and on I could go. So I sucked it up and asked a dear friend of mine (her blog) to be my accountability to a specific list of things that I wanted to start doing, or in a few cases stop doing. She became iron to me and her knowledge of my struggles began to sharpen me into a more disciplined disciple.
Here are a few of the questions she asks me every week:
Are you spending time in the Word at least 5 days a week?
Are you praying?
What scripture did you memorize this week?
Have you disrespected Lex in any way? Have you asked him for forgiveness?
She asks me about finances, my intimacy with Lex, my intimacy with God. The really really hard stuff that I'd rather just keep private, ya know? But guess what happens when that goes private...I DON'T GROW & I'M NOT SHARPENED. When I know that Beth is going to ask me about certain things I am immediately more aware of them. There's a reason that we're called to live in deep community with other believers. (Gal. 6:1, Heb. 10:24-25) There's a reason we are told to confess our sins to one another. (James 5:16)
I am so glad that I have finally tasted the benefit of having an accountability partner. I just can't do it on my own & Christ new that. That's why the body of believers is designed to be one. God never intended for us to live out our faith alone. (John 17:20-21)
Disclaimer: I'm a sinner.
Therefore: this method hasn't made me perfect in any of the areas I'm seeking to grow in, but I am growing. I'm not stale or stagnant in my walk. That's what the Christian faith is all about. The world looks at us and sees a lack of perfection & therefore a bunch of hypocrites. The believer looks in the mirror and sees a filthy rag who desperately needs a Savior day after day. I don't have to struggle to earn God's favor or salvation, but instead make the choice to freely receive the grace Jesus offers as atonement for my sinfulness. The only reason grace is a free gift is because there is nothing we can do to earn it, no amount of holiness or "goodness" that we can present to God to buy it, and definitely not enough church attendance that we can trade in for it. Once grace is received, there's a huge cost to being a disciple of Christ. Anyone who argues otherwise is a fraud. You want proof? Read the Bible. Start in Genesis.
Ultimately, I'm falling more in love with Christ. I'm letting Him mold me into a disciple. Will the process ever be complete? Not until Heaven it won't. Until then, I am enjoying the aches and pains of it all. The continual struggle of flesh and spirit is a battlefield. I don't always win. Actually, I can barely make it to lunch time without a few reminders of how weak I am. But when I taste those victories...they are good. He is good through it all. I see that. I know that. I'm learning that over and over again.
I had a friend tell me that I needed to update my blog. Well.
This isn't an update. It's a pre-update.
I will update tomorrow.
I must mention however that Annerson pooped in the tub again tonight. Not sure what's going on here. Based on the evidence (2x the amount of terds at a much quicker rate) she apparently was more relaxed than the first time it happened.
I was so close to getting the camera but Lex's words rang out in my head & I thought better of it.
"You didn't take a picture of it did you...If you did...." That was after the 1st time.
Gandy (Grandpa Joel) didn't come to Lubbock this past weekend for the Tech game. We always love it when he comes to visit, but this weekend we were able to use his season tickets and see Tech beat New Mexico. Last season we took her to a game and she slept the whole time. This time she wasn't interested in sleeping or watching the game. Although we missed seeing Gandy, it was fun to get out in the rain & watch Annerson run all over section 118. Lex & I both took turns keeping her occupied. At one point Lex took her to go get us a drink. It took them forever...like an entire quarter it seemed. Come to find out it's because Annerson made some fans and had 6 different people take pictures of her.
So THANKS GANDY for the tickets. As much fun as the game was we'd rather see you. So hurry and come to Lubbock this weekend already!!!!
So...Annerson had her first floating terds in the tub tonight. Did I just type that?
I should have known she was pooping b/c she was sitting funny, but she's never done that before so I didn't even consider it until I saw 3 terds floating behind her. At that point I guess it wasn't really a consideration, more like a "AH! What do I do?" moment. I actually said that out loud & then looked at Annerson and said, "Don't you move!".
I grabbed her play cup and started corralling the little nuggets toward it. Looking back I realize that I should have gotten her out of the tub right away but all I could think about was the poop gone wild floating all over the place. Somewhere in there I drained the water and one little terdy escaped the cup of doom and got stuck in the drain. Quick thinking led me to grab a disposable razor and stick the end of it down into the drain to pull it out. It really was poop on a stick. Don't worry, I threw the razor away.
So finally I got Annerson out, bleached the tub & we started the bath routine all over again. I made it very clear that we don't poop in the tub, but I know that she's gonna go when she's gotta go so I just have to be ready, right? I think next time I will respond a little less franticly...well, can one ever really be prepared for tub poop? I sure wasn't tonight.
I know you are all expecting a picture to go along with this post, but I have to let you down. You read how I handled this people. There was no thought about grabbing the camera during that chaos. I do however have a picture to share that captures why my nose is bright red & about to fall off.
pile of kleenex after 1 night of blowing
All 3 of us are fighting colds.
I'm just thankful I don't have the flu.
I'll take a cold any day over the other stuff going around right now.
But I'm nervous before I get dressed each day b/c I'm just anticipating that squeeze to come anytime now.
I am feeling SO much better. Right after my last post my strength started turning around and I woke up with energy and motivation again. It's been so nice to feel more like myself.
So far this pregnancy has been very different from #1. Mostly because I've been feeling so uhh. This time I'm also having stronger eating issues...like not wanting to eat certain things (like Sheridan's...I know, it's insane!) or anything at all. Sometimes I actually crave things (like Skittles!) which I didn't really do last time either. It's been interesting so far.
I've discovered that the Leah I have become in the past five weeks is not the same Leah I was last time I was pregnant and definitely not the same Leah I was a month ago. Here's how I know this. Lately, I am breaking my own rules left and right. It's not necessarily a bad thing, but it's really freaking me out.
Apparently, I threw this out the window...
1. The no nap rule was the first thing to go. I take a nap EVERYDAY now. When Annerson goes down for her afternoon nap I close my eyes immediately. I look forward to it all morning. The fact that I can do this day after day, not just occasionally, convinces me they missed like 2 other yolk sacs on our ultrasound...cause there's gotta be more than one baby in there! It's just not natural to be this tired!!
2. Baby Einstein is no longer a once in a blue moon treat for Anner. Oh no. I've been sick since Saturday=she's watched it at least once everyday since Saturday. Just typing those words makes me cringe. BUT it is survival in this family right now. Pure survival people. It's awful, I know!
3. I leave dirty diapers in the car now. I DIDN'T MEAN TO!!! I usually bring in everything from the car every time I come home (diaper bag, trash, cups, etc.). Well, the other day Lex & I were getting ready to go somewhere and discovered a nastacular spell coming from the car. Of course I assume it's the trash in the garage...oh no. It was a pee pee diaper that had been in there for a day or 2. Where's your head Leah?
4. Blogging...let me just say that I think about it almost everyday but never do it. The fact that I'm blogging right now about breaking rules instead of our trip to Missouri 2 weeks ago to celebrate Papa's 90th Birthday or baby Grant Dallas being born or the fact that today is my sweet husband's bday and I haven't put up anything for him on the blog (sorry Lexy poo) is out of character for me. I don't like to miss things & when I do, I usually do a ferocious post to get it all in. Not today my friends. I'm moving on. I wish I could post extensively about all those things that have been going on in our life but it's just not going to happen right now.
5. Instead of playing with Annerson in the floor I lay on the couch and watch her play. This is the worst. I'm usually trying really hard not to move around because it's then that I get really nauseous and start feeling awful. So I watch the poor child play and toddle around the room. I don't sleep or anything, just interact from the couch. It's so annoying. At least she still calls me Mama!
Those are a FEW of the things I've been doing of late that are most definitely out of the ordinary for Leah. So if you haven't heard from me in a while or I haven't seemed myself please know that it is only because I feel like a walking nauseous zombie mom who just wants some more sleep!
This pregnancy is very different from the last one. I don't remember being nearly this tired or sick last time. I know the Lord is making me stronger in many ways through this. It's not fun, but it's part of the sacrifice of being a mom. I'm just grateful I get to experience it no matter how unpleasant it may seem to be at times. It's a blessing any way you slice it.
I'm 10 weeks tomorrow! Woohoo for 1/4 down, 3/4s to go!!
Maybe I won't wait half a month until my next post. :)
I don't feel like this year has flown by or gone by so fast as they say. I feel like Annerson came into our lives a long time ago. I can't remember me before her. Just like I can't remember me before marrying Lex. Of course I remember things, but I can't put my thumb on that world. It seems too distant.
It's so hard to believe that Lex & I have a 1 year old daughter. It blows my mind. I don't have the mental energy to blog a bunch of emotions right now. As much as I want to write a 5 paragraph essay about the past year, I have to get off the computer and go to bed.
However, I do have some pictures from her party to share.
The party was amazing.
Perfect in fact.
Not too much.
Not too little.
Thank you Lord for people who love our daughter & want to celebrate her life with us.
Today, I just need to shout this from the mountain tops.
Thy mercy my God is the theme of my song The joy of my heart and the boast of my tongue Thy free grace alone from the first to the last Hath won my affection and bound my soul fast
Without Thy sweet mercy i could not live here Sin would reduce me to utter despair But through Thy free goodness my spirits revive And He who first made me still keeps me alive
Thy mercy is more than a match for my heart Which wonders to feel its own hardness depart Dissolved by Thy goodness i fall to the ground And weep for the praise of the mercy i've found
Great Father of mercy, Thy goodness i own And the covenant love of Thy crucified Son All praise to the Spirit whose whisper divine Seals mercy and pardon and righteousness mine! All praise to the Spirit whose whisper divine Seals mercy and pardon and righteousness mine! Alleluia!
Annerson got her new car seat installed and became a big sister all within a few hours. On Saturday we found out we were pregnant. After weeks of pregnancy tests we finally got a positive result. This week has been quite the whirlwind of events. I called the doctor on Monday. Then on Wednesday I filled out paper work, did blood work, & scheduled an ultrasound for Thursday. Since the 1st day of my last period was 10 weeks ago they wanted to do an ultrasound right away to get an accurate due date. Yesterday I went to Lubbock Radiology Associates for the ultrasound. Good news is that I'm pregnant. Bad news is that I'm only 5 WEEKS! WHAT? So the 1st missed period was a fluke. So weird.
Because I am super dupper ridiculous early I have to have another ultrasound next Friday so they can label it a viable pregnancy. I definitely see the reason why they make you wait until 7 weeks before you have that first ultrasound. We couldn't see anything but the sac & that was a little unnerving. Right now there's nothing to see though not even a heart beat. All to say, I feel fine & am so excited to finally be pregnant again. I always imagined that I would be pregnant at Annerson's 1st birthday party.
So Annerson is using her big girl car seat now. It gives her so much more room! I think she likes it alot. It seems to be pretty comfortable b/c she's always falling asleep in the car now! We will continue through August to face her backwards. I will flip her the moment the doctor gives me the ok. Her 1 year appointment is the day after her birthday and she's really close to breaking the 20 pound mark. YAY! She's doing so much better with her weight.
It never failed. Every time we pulled into the carport at Mimi & Papa's house she would say, "Home again, home again. Jiggidy jog." Those words brought me comfort time & time again. I feel like I'm home again home again and finally settled in.
My time in Missouri was amazing. God taught me so much in those 9 days. Here's a glimpse of some of the situations that caused emotional & physical overload:
being away from Lex...always very hard for me because I am head over heels for my husband
being away from Lex with Annerson...automatically means double duty for me because Lex helps out A LOT with his baby girl
getting to spend over a week with my brother...he's so amazing & I always learn so much from being around him
taking care of my nieces and nephews...ALL SIX OF THEM...I seriously thought I wasn't going to make it after the first day I had them to myself...but it got so much easier & a whole lot of fun as I acclimated to the call of duty!
spending an entire week in close proximity to my mother...which turned out to be very enjoyable (Praise God that she is the most level headed I've EVER known her to be in my whole life!)
spending good quality time with Xia & Diezel for the first time since they've been home...this was so hard for me...I'll explain later
It was a crazy week. I survived being away from Lex surprisingly well. I was so busy with the kids and keeping up with the house that I hardly had any physical or mental energy left to do anything else. Annerson was a complete mess the whole time. She was very overwhelmed because a.) all the attention and b.) she was not quickly adjusting to being out of her normal surroundings. So she clinged to me nearly the whole time. It was a miracle moment when she'd let McKayley or Faith hold her without first having a cry fest. That was a little overwhelming for me because I would be trying to do laundry and they'd bring her in to me in the middle of it all. I couldn't get a lot done unless she was asleep. Naptime for the toddlers and Annerson meant go time for me. There was no getting on the computer or blogging during nap time. When they hit the pillow, I hit the dishes, laundry, toys, dinner preparations, etc. It was non-stop. In fact I have to interrupt myself and give a shout out to my sister Steffany right now.
My admiration for you has officially launched to the furthest galaxy. I do not know how you do it day after day. I really don't. I know it's totally different because you went from 1 to 6 one at a time (except for #5 & #6 but you know what I mean!) so you had time to adjust. But I know you must be worn out at the end of every day nonetheless. You have to be such a God-dependent mom to live that life. I so admire you. So so much. Thank you for fulfilling God's calling for your life. It was very humbling to walk in your shoes while you were gone. I don't know how you do it, but I'm glad you do!
Ok, where was I? All I know is this-while I was there I was exhausted in every way imaginable but loved it at the same time because I got to spend time with my precious nieces & nephews, my brother, & my mom. I'd do it all again in a heart beat.
Since Xia & Diezel have been home I have had 3 brief interactions with them. This week gave me the much needed chance to open up my aunt heart to them. I've always loved them, even before they came home, but I hadn't bonded with them yet. The time I spent with them was good. They are hilarious, precious, and much more "Americanized" than I thought possible. Xia kept calling me "Hey You" but would say "Aunt Leah" as soon as I responded with, "What's my name?". She is so sweet and polite and girly. I love it. Diezel is just all boy. I think he likes me enough. We made great progress with him pooping in the potty so that was good. I think it just took one good observation of me changing Annerson's diaper for him to see how gross it was to change a poopy. After that he never pooped in his diaper again while I was there! Ha! The twins change the dynamics of the family and for this reason I found myself frustrated. Often I'd catch myself having a hard heart toward them because they make life in general so much harder, or maybe I should say that things are more complicated with them. I don't know what the right word is. I know that is so stupid & I hate that I battle these thoughts (and I did battle them with God's love & truth), but I thought them regardless. Adoption is beautiful and ugly at the same time. I've had many conversations with Steffany about how hard the last year has been on them. When I thought these things I forced myself to picture them in the situation they knew in Africa. This broke my heart and immediately stirred my heart to love them more. Even though I know the twins are here to stay, I think I still see them as these sweet little babies that are staying with my brother & sis-in-law for a while. Don't get me wrong, I love them like crazy. If you know me at all, you know that I adore my nieces and nephews. Jace, McKayley, Faith & Lukas are INCREDIBLY near to my heart. I just expected to automatically feel the same towards the twins. I'm just not sure what to do with the fact that I don't yet have the same affections for them. I'm sure it will just take time. I know that they are just as much a part of this family as anyone. It's just going to take some getting used to on my part. Is that wrong to feel like that?
I know I am totally rambling in this post. I'm a little scattered tonight. Sorry!
I didn't get to take many good pictures but here are a few that should give you an idea of what the week looked like.
McKayley, Jace & Faith with Papa
Annerson crawled up stairs for the first time! She loved it!
She went up the stairs over and over again.
Sweet McKayley...the mother, nurturer,
and serenity of the group
Faith washing the bus!
Diezel ditched us so that he could shine up his own ride!
(Some of these pics loaded funky for some reason)
Lukas decided that his ride needed some attention as well
Annerson was not enjoying her light saber training
NuNu showing Annerson his muscles. So cute!
Ollie was all too easily replaced in Annerson's heart
with their new kitten Tyler
Annerson enjoying her MeMa!
brother all dressed up
look at those smiles
nightly ritual bathtime
In case you are wondering where Steffany was all week, she went backpacking in Colorado. I haven't talked to her about her trip yet but I know it was brutal & very challenging. She said the Lord taught her so much. It sounds like we both had weeks filled with lessons, only I got to learn mine with the comforts of a warm shower & comfy bed while she slept on the earth in a sleeping bag and pooped in a hole with 10 other women. Hmm....