Friday, September 5, 2008

Emotions


Emotions...today is Annerson's due date but Sunday was her birthday.  Our daughter has been with us for 6 days.  We have experienced more ups and downs, news & firsts, laughs and cries in the last week than I thought possible.  We had a small scare on Tues. when we took her to the doctor and they told us she'd lost too much weight for her only being 3 days old & that she was jaundice.  The remedy-bili light 24 hours a day except during feeding & diaper duty-this meant that we couldn't snuggle with her and hold her whenever we wanted.  She just had to lay there. She was very dehydrated and had several dry diapers and very few wet/dirty ones.  Last night was a turning point.  After a very very very very hard decision we started supplementing my milk with formula to get her calories and fluids up.  This broke our hearts because we don't want her on formula.  It's only temporary, but still.  I feel like a mother who can't provide for my daughter and that's hard to take.  The cycle of effects-more calories=more hydration=more dirty/wet diapers=bilirubin leaving her body=less lethargic=able to eat more and start the process all over again.  The hard part has been balancing this delicate cycle and trying to figure out how to get on top of it & get her feeling better.  I guess we are being successful because she came off her bili bed today!  Her levels went from a 14 to a 8.5 & her weight increased 2 ounces.  She had originally dropped 1 pound in 3 days.  She has now gained back almost 3 ounces since Tuesday. 

All to say...it's been an incredible journey thus far.  I love that little baby girl with everything inside of me.  I find it hard to sleep because I don't want to be away from her for a second. I love to sit and watch her sleep.  I love to stroke her crazy head of hair.  I love holding her tiny little hand in mine.  

Praise the Lord of lords for healing.  Praise Him for life.  Praise Him for allowing us to be a part of this wonderful thing called parenthood.  

I have so much more I want to share but I must sleep for 45 minutes to be ready to feed her.  Thank you to everyone who has been praying for us.  Please don't stop.  I need prayer that my milk production will be adequate for Annerson.  I won't go into details except that it has been the source of a lot of stress & tears.  We're getting there though.  


13 comments:

steffany said...

Yes, welcome to this amazing journey called parenthood.
You are an amazing mommy.

Brie said...

I'm praying!! I think you ARE providing for your little girl and being the best mommy to her in the midst of difficult circumstances.

Beth said...

hoo.comLeah-
You are doing a great job and are already a great mom. These first few weeks are very difficult even when everything goes smoothly. Please feel confident that you are doing what is best for Annerson. You could have chosen an easier feeding route, but wanted to make the best use of God's provision for her through you. Try to rest as much as possible and take care of yourself. Please give Annerson hugs and snuggles for me.
Beth

stephanie said...

Leah, Annerson is absolutley beautiful. You and Lex hang in there, I can't imagine how exhausted you must be right now. You have many people praying for your sweet family. Keep us updated with everything, and pictures!

Lyndsay said...

You are doing an incredible job...I completely agree with brie... lots of prayers your way! You must love kissing her cheeks! They are so cuuuuute!

Major Mom said...

Awww...She is so precious. Congrats mommy. I know you are doing an awesome job, nursing the first babe often takes a little help to get going.

Jason and Stephanie Trook said...

Glad to hear Annerson is doing better! Ya'll are doing a great job! Love you all!

Amy said...

Leah- Hey, I wish I was there to give you a big hug! Those first few weeks are so emotional, but it does slow down. "Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest." Keep Matt. 11:28-30 fresh on your mind because Lord know, new moms are definately weary and heavy laden. We love you guys and are praying for you!

The McDons said...

O Leah! Stay Strong! You are a great mom! Hope to see you soon! Love ya!

LezlieAndrew::Photographer said...

You guys are doing great! And I can see you have so many people praying for you. Be blessed and joyful and know that I am praying for you guys, too. I can't wait o meet Annerson!

Laura said...

I remember sitting in the same chair and rocking Alexandra for hours one day...Curtis came home and asked me if I had gotten up to do anything. Have you even eaten? I relished that time with her. David really started gaining weight when I spent as much time in bed with him. I know that sounds odd but, I think it helped me relax, helped us both rest and got lots more snuggling time in. You are a wonderful mother as evidenced by your concern and thoughts from your heart. I'll mindfully pray for you all. Lots of hugs from New Braunfels! Wish we could be there with you both. xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox

stephanie said...

Leah how are you doing? We are praying for you lots in Columbia! Stay strong, I know you and Lex are wonderful parents!

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