And....I'm a few days late and hoping my period doesn't come. I'm thinking about it constantly. I don't know if I'm imagining period cramps or they're really there. We'll find out soon I guess. It's strange waiting for something that could potentially change your life. It's hard not to play mind games. I tell God that whatever happens I won't care either way. It's how I can guard myself. I feel like if I'm disappointed to not be pregnant that I'm not trusting God to do what's best in His perfect timing. I so want to walk in that timing so I try to sell myself a pitch that if I start I start and it's no big deal. But it is a big deal. Does that make sense? Then at the same time I'm like, "CRAP! I can't be pregnant yet. I'm still a kid! I'm not ready for all that." But I'm not a kid and I'm surely not ready....although I feel like it's time.
Olly says hello. He's curled up on the bed under the blanket.
Pray for my heart. It's just kinda feels strange.