So I started balling. I was just standing there looking at these Christmas plants and it all hit me at once. It was like I really was experiencing more emotion than I could handle at once so I had to let it out. There was no waiting till the car or until I got home. I just stood there with tears streaming down my face. I called Lex and managed to get out what was going on after lots of "Are you ok? Where are you???". I composed myself enough to get to the checkout line and then almost lost it again when the cashier asked me how I was doing. Did she really want to know?
I'm still emotional although better. I think that God is speaking to my heart and trying to remind me that nothing will satisfy me except Him. I fall into the trap of looking to Lex, family, presents, shopping and Christmas meals to satisfy me during this crazy season. But as my blog title proclaims...His grace is sufficient. It's sufficient for Joel's searching heart, it's sufficient for Marcie's tired heart, it's sufficient for mine and Lex's selfish hearts, and it's sufficient for Papa's broken heart.
I did manage to pick out a plant with these beautiful white lilies. I was standing in James & Marcie's kitchen tonight smelling them and God whispered something to me. He told me that He was there and that He made beautiful things. And I felt like everything was going to be ok again.